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Why Does Canada's Senate Need 63,000 Bath Towels A Year?

This seems excessive.

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Makaristos / Wikimedia / Via commons.wikimedia.org

Canada's Senate is looking for a new towel supplier, and it's no small order.

As first reported by Metro News, companies have been invited to bid on a government contract to supply the upper chamber with linens for the next three to five years. The job is worth up to $85,000.

The contract, which was posted on the government's procurement website, states that the Senate requires 125 dish cloths, 500 hand towels, and 1,500 bath towels. (Towels must be 100% cotton, natch.)

But that's just the inventory.

The Senate's estimates of how quickly it will go through the towels paints an even more alarming picture. A typical week, according to the contract, will require 475 hand towels and 1,325 bath towels. On an annual basis, members of this august body believe they'll need to dry their august bodies 63,600 times — all using taxpayer-provided bath towels. There is a Senate gym, also open to staffers and others who work on Parliament Hill, which likely accounts for much of the towel use. Whoever gets the contract had better be ready to provide some serious absorption.
Konovalikovandrey / Getty Images

The Senate's estimates of how quickly it will go through the towels paints an even more alarming picture.

A typical week, according to the contract, will require 475 hand towels and 1,325 bath towels. On an annual basis, members of this august body believe they'll need to dry their august bodies 63,600 times — all using taxpayer-provided bath towels.

There is a Senate gym, also open to staffers and others who work on Parliament Hill, which likely accounts for much of the towel use. Whoever gets the contract had better be ready to provide some serious absorption.

Why the hell do Canadian Senators need so many damn towels?

Some theories:1. OK, it's probably the gym.2. The Senators are stealing the towels.3. The Senators are eating the towels.4. They are swamp monsters in constant need of drying.
Konovalikovandrey / Getty Images

Some theories:

1. OK, it's probably the gym.

2. The Senators are stealing the towels.

3. The Senators are eating the towels.

4. They are swamp monsters in constant need of drying.

Ishmael N. Daro is a reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in Toronto. PGP fingerprint: 5A1D 9099 3497 DA4B

Contact Ishmael N. Daro at ishmael.daro@buzzfeed.com.

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