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There Shall Be Absolutely No Fun At The Parliament Hill Rink

Oh, you thought the official Canada 150 rink might include hockey?

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A temporary skating rink built on Parliament Hill is about to open to the public, but it comes with a list of rules that bans hockey, figure skating, and swearing.

Justin Tang / THE CANADIAN PRESS

The $5.6-million rink will be open for several weeks starting Dec. 7, as one of the final Canada 150 celebrations of the year.

Sounds fun, right? Wrong. Here's a partial list of things that will not be allowed on the rink:

• hockey sticks or pucks

• food and drink

• "rough play"

• speed skating

• figure skating

• games like tag or racing

• phones or other electronic devices

• foul language or "inappropriate behavior"

The rink will host a peewee hockey tournament, but there will be absolutely no hockey for the wider public. Don't even think about it.

canada150rink.com

According to the official Canada 150 Rink website, "ice times can be canceled, shortened or modified at any time without notice" because fuck you.

A risk disclaimer on the website also notes that the rink's surface "may be slippery."

People are having a hard time wrapping their heads around this.

Canada 150 ice rink on Parliament Hill comes with a $5.6-million price tag, 26-day, $215,000 per day lifespan (weat… https://t.co/091N0qtrw2

Sorry, did you accidentally associate Canada and hockey rinks with... hockey?

It's only going to open for 26 days at a daily cost of $215,385 and no one's going to play hockey on it? Seriously?… https://t.co/4J1sO5mAzJ

The rink was initially going to shut down on Dec. 31, but apparently someone realized that didn't make sense and it will now stay open until the end of February, according to CTV News.

And as many people pointed out, building this thing in the first place was a weird choice since there's already the Rideau Canal.

And it’s located a slap shot away from the Rideau Canal.... the world’s longest skating rink. And it’s around the c… https://t.co/pRVDdbl2d1

According to the Toronto Star, Heritage Minister Mélanie Joly said the rink will reflect Canada's "winter spirit."

After its time on Parliament Hill, the rink will be dismantled, with the boards and glass donated to a "vulnerable" community in the Ottawa area.

“We believe that it’s a great way to finish the year,” Joly said.

Ishmael N. Daro is a reporter for BuzzFeed News and is based in Toronto. PGP fingerprint: 5A1D 9099 3497 DA4B

Contact Ishmael N. Daro at ishmael.daro@buzzfeed.com.

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