Look, times are tough. We're in lockdown, it's bloody freezing, and my adult braces have been cutting into my cheek for the past couple of days. So, it's safe to say that I, like so many others, am in a particularly vulnerable state.
But, of course, life loves to throw you absolute curveballs at these moments. Today's shocker? That the word "thickshake" does not exist in the US.
Yep, that's right. I was today years old when I learned that thickshakes are a purely Australian (and New Zealand) concept.
It's even confirmed on Wikipedia.
And there are countless tweets from both Americans and Australians alike discovering this wild difference between our two countries.
In Australia they call milk shakes "thick shakes" and if you order a milk shake they're just going to bring you sweet milk.
This is the most horrible cultural difference moment I've ever had
@scenik8 thickshakes aren’t a worldwide thing??? wtf i always thought they came from america
Now, for my international friends reading this and wondering what the hell a thickshake is, let me explain.
In Australia, we have the universally known "milkshakes." To us, they are flavoured milk drinks that are on the thinner side, but still contain ice cream (one or two scoops max) and can be sipped through a straw with ease.
Then, we also have "thickshakes," and like the name suggests, these bad boys are real thiccccccccccc and heavy. They're made using the same ingredients, but will usually have a higher ratio of ice cream (three scoops plus).
To drink these, you have to conjure up all your willpower and turn your mouth into a vacuum — because, as mentioned before, that shit is thick (but it tastes so good).
If you want to elevate the experience, you can even dip some hot chips in there. It's a solid, 10/10 combo that any Australian will vouch for.
So, now my question is: What's the equivalent in the US? If you don't have "thickshakes"...are they all just called milkshakes? Because as I've explained, there's a difference.
Please let me in the comments below. Yours sincerely, a concerned Australian who is learning more about the world every day.
Also, Aussies — did you know this, and am I just late to the game?