🚨 FYI — in case it wasn't clear from the headline, there will be massive spoilers ahead for Succession Season 4, Episode 1. 🚨
Arise, Succession fans — our favourite dysfunctional family who have way too much cash to burn and not enough brain cells between them (lest we forget Roman accidentally sending a dick pic intended for Gerri to his dad, Logan) is back on our screens for one final season.
To show things coming full circle, the first episode of Season 4, titled "The Munsters" (which is in reference to a '60s TV show that follows the home life of a family of monsters), opens similarly to how the series began in Season 1 — at Logan's birthday party.
There's one big difference though. Kendall, Roman and Shiv are all absent from their father's exclusive festivities as they're too busy scheming up their own plan to finally break away from the chains of Waystar Royco (and if they get back at Logan while doing it, well, that's just an added bonus).
Meanwhile, Connor is too busy focusing on his election campaign and debating whether or not he should invest a casual $100 million into maintaining his current one percent of the electorate — because if he doesn't get "aggressive", he'll get "squeezed" down (which prompts Greg to point out the obvious: "Squeezed down? From one? That's the lowest number").
Everyone's favourite power couple, Cousin Greg and Tom Wambsgans are reunited, having acquired the nickname "The Disgusting Brothers". But it's not all smooth sailing for the bromance, with Greg having to confess to Logan that he did the dirty in his home (yes, that's an actual plotline) and Tom having to face the reality of his failing marriage with Shiv.
It's an emotionally devastating scene, with Tom interjecting into Shiv's constant verbal attacks by asking her: "Do you really want to get into a full accounting of all the pain in our marriage? Because if you do, I can do that."
"I wonder if we might have run out of road," Shiv responds, suggesting that it's time their trial separation turned into a divorce.
As the finality of the moment hangs in the air, Shiv denies Tom one last opportunity to talk things out and explain all the bullshit that's gone on between them. "I don't want to rake up a whole lot of bullshit for no profit," she says.
Instead, their final moments are spent laying together in silence, contemplating their marriage and whether there was a time when they actually loved one another.
And holy shit, just give Sarah Snook and Matthew Macfadyen all of the awards for this incredible performance that broke all of our hearts.
Anyway, while we process all of that — alongside the incoming chaos for the rest of the season — here are a bunch of hilarious and relatable tweets about the Season 4 premiere of Succession.
When the #Succession theme finally hits tonight…
Me pretending I understand the business conversations of the show #SuccessionHBO #Succession
"The Disgusting Brothers" coming soon to hbo. #Succession #SuccessionHBO
Shiv after hearing Tom stepping out on her with Naomi Pierce #Succession
the way they’re trying to gaslight me into thinking literally anyone in the succession extended universe has ever called logan ‘loge’ before
not logan depressed cause his children aren’t around for him to manipulate #succession
when you finally win against your father & look directly into the camera #Succession #SuccessionHBO
We all know that Greg beat Logan with this. 😭 #Succession #SuccessionHBO
logan when greg asked where his kids are #Succession
Logan to Greg in 4x01:
“where are your kids?” “where’s your dad?”
This scene is pure art. Sarah Snook & Matthew Macfadyen’s performances are so beautifully devastating. I'll never get this frame out of my head. #Succession
SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP. #SuccessionHBO #Succession
sarah snook is taking that emmy this year like oh shiv roy i’m sorry you were born into the family you were born to and i’m sorry your mother wished she just had dogs and i’m sorry your father never taught you how to talk out your emotions #SuccessionHBO
#Succession It's only episode 1 and I already will never recover from this
me on the way to go watch my emotional support billionaires go make bad choices #Succession