Ah, Vegemite toast. There is just something about this combination, with the melted butter, warm bread and savoury Vegemite, that makes it the peak breakfast option. In fact, half of its appeal lies in how simple it is to make. Like, surely no one could screw up making this simple Aussie brekky, right?
Well, a Sydney-based cafe has tossed their hat into the ring for what could possibly be the worst attempt at Vegemite toast that any Australian has ever seen.
And look, I feel for this poor Aussie who was most likely looking forward to tucking into a good serving of Vegemite on toast. Instead, they got the barest of Vegemite scrapes — or, as a co-worker described it, the itty bit of Vegemite that sticks to the lid after the jar is opened.
I mean, disgraceful Vegemite application aside, the butter is not even spread to the sides. Edge-to-edge application is ESSENTIAL for optimum Vegemite on toast.
Understandably, Aussies are enraged over this piss-poor attempt at what I'm calling: "Vegemite toast, but hold the Vegemite."
"They fucked up every step. Not enough toasting, not enough butter and not enough Vegemite."
"I always wondered how badly you could fuck up Vegemite on toast — we have a new leader."
"Said it before and I'll say it again. Butter on hot toast, edge to edge. Let it melt. Cover with Vegemite edge to edge. If you can see butter, that's a personal choice. If you can see bread, you've failed at Vegemite toast."
"I'd have taken it back and demanded to talk to whoever thought that was acceptable. Karen move? Nah. That's just un-Australian and its fuckery needs to be called out."