Ranking Australian Christmas Foods From "Hard Pass" To "Put Me In A Food Coma Right Now"

Mince pies belong in the trash.

21. Mince pies

Flickr: umami88

I'm still surprised that there are people who actually enjoy eating mince pies because they taste like absolute shit. Maybe I've just never had a good one, but for now they'll remain the worst festive food that one could receive on Christmas day.

20. Fruit cake

Flickr: california_bakery

No matter how much custard you add, fruit cake slices are forever dry and on the chewy side. You eat some out of respect (most likely for your dear nan, whose fruit cake recipe comes from a book that's older than you), before moving on to the better dessert options.

19. Oysters

Flickr: virany

I'll admit that I've never tried oysters before and I know that's an immense failing on my adult palate, but the thought of downing some of these at Christmas lunch or dinner doesn't really appeal to me — no matter how fancy it makes me seem.

18. Cadbury Favourites

Instagram: @aussie.junkie

Calm down, keyboard warriors. Cadbury Favourites rule every single day of the year. At the end of the day though, they are just boxed choccies and don't give off huge Christmas vibes (despite being delicious AF).

17. Christmas pudding

Flickr: whodini

My knowledge of Christmas pudding extends to the range Coles and Woolies makes available each year — and you know what, I really don't mind them. Since you're steaming the pud instead of baking it, it's more likely to be soft and moist, rather than tasting like a hard rock. Plus, it's festive AF, so it gets bonus points for that.

16. Roast turkey

Instagram: @hermosas_kitchen

Turkey's fine, but it takes so long to bloody prepare and cook. Considering that Christmas in Australia takes part during one of the hottest parts of the year, the thought of being in the kitchen and near a hot oven for that long is a major no-no.

15. Chocolate ripple cake

Flickr: tubagooba

Simple, delicious and full of nostalgia, chocolate ripple cake is a solid Christmas food. The only con is that it can be on the heavier side when you've already eaten your weight's worth in ham, prawns, nibbles and the like. 

14. Pasta salad

Flickr: briarcraft

Pasta salad is a tough one. When it's done well, it tastes like a million bucks and has you going back for seconds and thirds. At the same time, it can be woefully under-seasoned and an odd combination of being soggy, yet super dry. 

13. Rocky Road

Instagram: @2cooksinthekitchencatering

Rocky Road is one of the best Aussie inventions and they're a solid fave anytime of the year. When it comes to Christmas foods though, they take a hot minute to consume and I want to be eating as much as possible, as fast as possible on Xmas day (without giving myself indigestion, of course). 

12. Mashed potato

Instagram: @jacquegotmeat

I've never eaten a mashed potato I didn't like! But idk, it's not that I like roasted potatoes better, I just feel like they're more versatile. You can ~spice~ them up more compared to the humble mash. 

11. Trifle

Flickr: dishingupdelights

I know trifles have a tendency to be soggy, but there's just something so summery and fun and festive about them! Plus, you can load them up with seasonal fruit, which is the best part about an Aussie Christmas.

10. Nibbles

Instagram: @chocolate_and_chaos

Hands up if you've made the mistake of filling up on nibbles before the main affair because of how good everything tasted? It’s a Christmas tradition tbh, with the immensely tasty platter usually demolished in a swift hour.

9. Potato gratin

Instagram: @freespiritfare

You can't go wrong with potatoes, cheese and cream that's been browned to perfection in the oven. That's heavenly stuff, right there.

8. BBQ

Flickr: meesterdickey

Nothing says Australian culture more than a good, old Christmas BBQ featuring skewers, snags and seafood. The only downside is that someone needs to volunteer to be the one cooking and standing in front of the hot barbie.

7. Pavlova

Flickr: speckled

You would be hard-pressed to find a more internationally renowned Aussie Christmas dessert than pavlova. It's iconic, it's delicious and it's a crowd favourite. At the same time, it's not the best dessert option — at least, not in my opinion.

6. Roast potatoes

Flickr: joeyz51

You can't be mad at me for placing roast potatoes so high. They're crispy, full of flavour and you can soak up all the gravy with them too. Yuuuuuum.

5. Crispy roast pork

Flickr: saragoldsmith

While it not be the usual Christmas choice, I'm a whore for some good, crispy pork crackling.

4. Christmas ham

Flickr: vxla

I'll hear no slander about Christmas ham. It's only dry and flavourless because you're cooking it wrong. Slap some herbs in there or do a honey-soy glaze — the possibilities are endless to make it taste good, or even excellent. Plus, if you nail it, you get leftovers for days.

3. Cob loaf

Instagram: @coralia.eats

Australians, myself included, bloody love a cob loaf. They go down especially well during Christmas when you're ripping into one while sharing family gossip and updates with your cousins. 

2. Fresh fruit, specifically mangoes and cherries

Flickr: henrybloomfield, @whattanyaate / Via instagram.com

Sure, it's simple, but there's nothing — and I repeat, nothing — better than chowing down on some fresh fruit after Christmas lunch or dinner. Whether that's cherries, mangoes, watermelon, grapes — or a platter filled with a bit of everything — fruit remains the best option because it's light, refreshing and pairs perfectly with the hot Aussie weather.

1. Prawns and dips

@sstraykitten / Via instagram.com, @confidentcoeliac / Via instagram.com

Is it any surprise that this Australian favourite tops the list? While you may be able to get prawns all around the world, the best Aussie tradition is to be served a platter of them on Christmas day. Then, comes the peeling and dipping into sauces — or enjoying them with a simple squeeze of lemon. Absolutely bloody delicious.