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Which Member Of The Berliner Family Are You?

Tortoises not included...

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  1. What's your favorite color?

    I don't have a favorite/none of the above
  2. What's for dinner?

    Something yummy
  3. What are you?

    Better than you
    A god
    The best child
    Sorry what was the question?
  4. Weren't not what?

    Someone tell me what that means!
    Shut up
    What an idiot
  5. How cynical are you?

    Somewhat at times
    Pretty damn cynical
    There are so many stupid pigs that can't sing
  6. What bothers you the most?

    Lack of respect
    People who don't listen
    Blind ignorance
  7. How do you get revenge on someone?

    Get them fired
    Do better than them
    Kill them with kindness
    Patronize them
    Plot against them and slowly bring them down
  8. What do you do during dinner?

    Stare into space
    Make a mess
    Yell at Adrian
  9. How good are you at frisbee?

    Better than my friends
    Better than my kids
    I like to play
    At least I can run a marathon
    I'm awful (but I think I'm good)
    I don't play frisbee
  10. When do you eat breakfast on the weekends?

    I don't eat breakfast
    Before the coffee gets cold
    Depends what I'm doing that day
  11. What is your least favorite musical?

    Peter Pan
    Thoroughly Modern Millie
    Anything by Ahrens and Flaherty
  12. How do you spend your nights?

    Hanging out with friends
    Doing whatever a burst of creativity inspires
    Trying to persuade my family to go get food
  13. How do you respond to compliments?

    Bashfully say thank you
    Say it back as an insult
    Mumble something
    Make a joke
    Say that whatever they were complimenting still needs improvement
  14. Pick a game to play

    Something with good game play design
    Does watching tennis count?
  15. Can you dance?

    Definitely not
    Oh yeah baby, watch me
    I try
    *flops arms like a fish* "Look at meeee!!! I'm doing it!!!"
  16. How good are you at gaming?

    What's gaming?
    I'm okay
    Great, as long as it's just strategy
    Give me a month to practice any game and I'll beat you
    Look at these graphics!
    Video games suck
  17. How good are you at piano?

    I'd better be good
    I'm very musical and technically talented
    I'm a hack
    I should be good but I suck
    Perfect Pitch helps
    I'm not
  18. Pick a tv show to binge watch

    Game of Thrones
    Rick and Morty
    Nadal matches
    Does logmein count as a tv show?
  19. What is/was your least favorite subject in school?

  20. What is your favorite slang?

  21. How do you respond to an Oliver pun?

    Shake your head at the stupidity
    Laugh pitifully
    Raise your eyebrows questioningly
    Grin smugly
    "No stupid, it should have been..."
  22. Adubafwas!

    Here you go!
    *gobble gobble*
  23. How would people describe you?

    Talented but arrogant
    Kind but excessive
    Smart but stupid
    Funny but loud
    Strong but intimidating

Which Member Of The Berliner Family Are You?

You got: Mother

As the only non Berliner in the family, it is easy for you to gain the title of most sensible one, as you are the only one with normal human levels of common sense. Still you are able to keep up with the strange berliner brains, even though most of the time you choose to ignore them and focus on more important things like your thoughts or the plate of food in front of you after a long day. You understand the true power of a strongly worded email and you're not afraid to write one to stand up for what you care about. You always fight for what you believe in and you will do what it takes to get what you want. You're the most talented and REAL musician almost everyone who knows you will ever meet and even though people don't always appreciate you as much as they should, you have inspired and motivated so many to improve and grow as artists and people. You often fail to understand pop culture and modern social norms. You're not the best with technology and you're lacking a bit in the sports department, but you are the strongest Berlflei both mentally and physically as you can do more push ups than everyone and run lots of miles every morning. You have a severe obsession with a certain tennis player and melting ice cream has way too much of an effect on your mental stability, but you are a wonderful mother and are the reason your kids didn't turn out complete messes. Other talents include making smoothies, finding cute emojis to go with messages, making lunches, yelling at your children and resisting father when he tries to go to Milkys every day.

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You got: Father

As the source of the name Berliner for this family, you certainly live up to the characteristics of the name. You possess large amounts of intelligence, yet like most Berliners, a majority of the words you say are highly stupid and complete nonsense. You probably spend most of your time thinking about, going to get, or eating ice cream and the rest of your time is spent either making jokes, annoying your children, or terrorizing your poor wife. Oh and you sometimes fix computers and stuff. You've always been pretty sporty and of course you're an incredible musician, so even though you're not a professional pianist and you only play ultimate for fun, you can still sit down at the piano and blow everyone away and destroy people in frisbee. Your car is a black hole and you're way too obsessed with the color purple, but you're always easy to spot from the back because of your weird striped hair. Some of your other random talents include taking pictures, cooking weird things and eating potato chips. Overall you're an extremely friendly, smart and fun guy, and everyone likes you even though it baffles your children who have been stuck with you for 15-20 years.

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You got: Isa (the best child)

As the only girl Berliner, it is easy for you to be the second most sensible in the family (after mother of course). Unlike your bumbling idiots of brothers, you can actually perform essential life behaviors without help and you've been told multiple times that you'd be a good person to be stranded on an island with. That said, you don't have a very good "too much" sensor and you don't know when to stop or give up. You put most of your life on your ceiling and you spend way too much time on worthless crafts, birthday presents and memorizing digits of pi which leaves you to stay up way to late almost every day and do everything important at the last second. Your sleeping schedule is atrocious and it's a miracle that you can function during school. You're an overachiever in almost everything except sometimes you just find shortcuts and clever ways to get around something because you're extremely lazy. You love taking pictures and attempting to be artsy by painting, doing calligraphy or doodling extensively during classes. You enjoy failing at piano by just attempting to play the overtures of your favorite musicals. You love to dance and you're always running around half dancing and half falling. You talk at the speed of a cat being chased by an Adrian and you manage to trip on or knock over everything you pass. Some of your random talents include taking care of kids (why they like you, the world will never know), directing/choreographing musicals, wearing colorful socks and turning into a very loud and energetic 3 year old when you get excited.

Isa (the best child)
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You got: Oliver (the baron of bumblefuck)

You are by far the stupidest Berliner in the bunch but never fear because you have the voice of a giant funny looking fresser angel. You eat enough food to sustain a small army and you're more organized than the other Berliner brother, though not by much. You're pretty good at sports, specifically frisbee, and you're good at wasting time playing various video games. You absolutely hate stupid people and have no tolerance for them, which can make you come off as an arrogant jerk sometimes, but for the most part you're a somewhat funny, entertaining guy. You make terrible jokes and can't really dance (though you make a valiant effort). You've starred in tons of musicals throughout the years and have dazzled many with your super loud powerful singing, though you really don't care for compliments and your ego is already big enough that when people add to it, you disregard it because your ego can't possibly get any larger. You wear the same clothes pretty much everyday: track pants and some tshirt and your Harvard sweatshirt (previously your PEMC jacket). The world is still astounded that you got in to Harvard because of the high levels of stupid that just radiate from your body every time you talk or do anything. Still, you're a great friend and people love spending time with you. People really value your opinion because they have grown to respect you immensely through the years, but you don't really care about all that. Your random talents include playing trombone and violin, beatboxing/making drum beats on the closest hard surface, playing with trains, and passionately hating people who have wronged you.

Oliver (the baron of bumblefuck)
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You got: Adrian (the ultimate idiot)

You are the stupid idiotic genius in the family. You are smarter than almost everyone you meet but they could still beat you in any battle requiring common sense. You wouldn't last a day alone in the wild even though you live like an animal. Your room is a pigstye (like actually where is the floor??) and you don't know how to perform basic necessary life functions. You spend most of your time singing about rhinos, ducks, cats and chickens, and making musicals demented and sad or about the stupidity of your siblings. You have little to no physical coordination and you have the remarkable talent of making every action look uncomfortably awkward, yet you've done an amazing job making the Harvard Glee Club Lite an awesome group. You have an impressive ability to solfege off the top of your head and you have near perfect pitch as well as a great ear. You are way too good at strategy games but you make up for it by sucking at sports and games that involve physical skill. Some random talents include making cupcakes, protecting the floor with a layer of clothing, making funny facial expressions, singing about anything on the spot, and oh yeah you're kind of good at sciency things like chemical biology or whatever.

Adrian (the ultimate idiot)
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