up and down. up and down. to and fro. please stop ? when will you ? I am tired. What do you want. I need sleep. No wait! but i don't wanna miss out. what if this world changes when m sleeping. what if the Eiffel tower falls apart when m sleeping. what if females surpass men in eyes of men when m sleeping. what if sleeping becomes illegal when m sleeping. but m tired. tired with your games. what do you wanna prove ? you can take care of me more than i can ? really ? no. Wasn't it supposed to be a game of joy ? living with humans and trees and animals forever. where did the teachings and lessons come from ? why cant i just be imperfect ? why i cant just be a failure ? is it necessary to prove that i am special ? what do you wanna make out of me ? an adult from a baby. a mature person from an adult. a wise person form a mature person and then ? take my life ? that's the plan right ? vow, I take a bow! hows that gonna help anyone ?
Why did you choose me? You know, its a curse to feel things so very deeply at times and not to feel anything at all other times. Why m i abnormal ? Why do i have so many questions ? why m i a misfit wherever i go ? why cant i keep my tea hot and drink cold ? why does that complement is not able to make my day ? why being a girl next door is not acceptable to me ? why m i not able to express ? why the thoughts are always weird ? you think its funny! its not. its isolating. its alone! It looks artificial. I am not able to deal with people. In the beginning, they will find me interesting but what happens after ? You thinks its good to be able to attract people ? no , its not. Because it too much of attention suddenly and then vacant. emptiness. do you realize thats how i live with all the abnormalities. Thank you for the money, it matters, it matters a lot. but what about the peace which your forgot to nurture me with.
So ? whats next ? it has been a while now. my wounds has started recovering. Please ditch me before i find my comfort in happiness.