1. You looking max hirable on LinkedIn vs. you looking max unhirable IRL:
If recruiters aren't into guyliner circa 2007, THAT'S ON THEM.
2. You being #goals at 1 p.m. vs. you being #goals at 1 a.m.:
You'll defend your donut decision TO THE DEATH.
3. You relaxing vs. you being toooooo relaxed:
Spa-ed too hard, son.
4. You on a thin day vs. you on a bloat day:
One-piece to onesie. DEAL WITH IT.
5. You focusing on health vs. you focusing on HELLLL YEAH:
Health-you may be an actual grown up, but you know garbage-you is more fun. You can't pick a favorite.
6. You cooking that one time vs. you cooking literally every single other time:
Pavlova = perfect. Pizza = YA BURNT.
7. You and sports on Instagram vs. you and sports to your actual friends:
Instagram-you maaaaay just have been that excited about hotdogs, pretzels, and beer TBH.
8. You + dogs vs. you + dogs + wine:
That magic, transformative ingredient makes allllll the difference.
9. You as an independent and chill human adult vs. you as a codependent human child with no chill whatsoever:
Too real. Too, too real.
10. You drinking with your S.O. at your anniversary vs. you drinking with your S.O. the other 364 days a year: