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1. She won't take shit from anyone.
The Senate? Other foreign leaders? The American people? Pshhh.
2. The State of the Union would just be a straight-up chisme fest.
3. Speaking of chisme, her entire cabinet would be made up of other moms and tias.
4. Forget awkward handshakes, all visitors would be greeted with a kiss on the cheek.
5. And no more lame welcome gifts. Every diplomat would be blessed with one of these.
6. No fake politeness. If there's some international hostility, we'd all know about it.
7. She would enforce a 3 p.m. national "Cafecito Break".
8. If Congress ever starts acting up, she would know exactly what to say to put them in their place.
When your Cuban mom sees your room dirty
Queen of lectures and guilt trips.
9. The First Gentleman would be a chill Cuban dad, playing dominoes and drinking rum with the other husbands (or Yoni Walker on fancy occasions).
10. Most importantly, she'd know exactly how to take the stench from former occupants out of the Oval Office.
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