back to top

A Survival Guide To A Trump Apocalypse... I Mean, Administration.

RE: BUZZFEED LIFESTYLE WRITER. An 11-step Zombieland-inspired guideline to get you through the Trump Years alive. Don't know how to prepare or where to even start? Here are some tips, from one marginalized American to another.

Posted on

2. Double tap. When in doubt, don’t get stingy with your bullets.

The Odyssey Online / Via

Use their beliefs against them. Pro-Tip: They are pro-gun. Just kidding… Sort of. Power doesn't live behind the barrel of a gun. True power resides in our voice and finds a home in the movement. When you think the issue is dead, persist. We cannot afford to let anything slide or let anything go.

4. Buckle up.

Big Brother / Via

Remain calm. These people are unrelenting. Not to mention, if your health plummets, you won't have access to healthcare (seeing as how they lack a replacement plan and all). They may even try to throw alternative facts at you… Scratch that… They WILL throw alternative facts at you. Dodge and deflect them for they are lethal. Fight back with the truth. Major Key Alert: Truth is to Conservatives what garlic is to vampires.

5. Travel light.

Giphy / Via

While trying to defeat the Neo-Nazis, I mean the alt-right, extra baggage may hold you back. That, or ICE may stop and frisk you along the way, so long story short – don’t walk with valuables. It's not like you can take it with you into Trump's Hell anyway.

6. Don’t be a hero.

Giphy / Via

Unless you're Batman. Then you can be a hero. Otherwise... Getting caught up in being a hero distracts from the movement at hand: survival. No need to compete for praise, we need to remain united in the name of justice.

8. When in doubt, always know your way out.

Classic Gaming / Via

Be vigilant in both your protest and in your arguments. They'll try to twist your words, and probably your arm, but don't let them back you into a corner. Hell, don't even go near a corner. Build a wall against their attacks. (See what I mean about using their arguments to your advantage?)

11. Enjoy the little things.

Giphy / Via

It’s the only way to stay sane. Seriously. Sometimes, you have to disconnect… But not for too long. Things are moving fast and Don The Con is pretty trigger-happy. Pun forced.

This post was created by a member of BuzzFeed Community, where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!