25 Things That May Help Soothe Your Broken Heart
Because fuck everyone who doesn't understand you're a catch!
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1. Queen Beyoncé's Lemonade, but only the former part of the album because anger fuels you; fuck forgiveness.
3. A subscription to all things single. Apparently that's what you are now. Go and say it in the mirror a couple of times to remind yourself.
5. An illuminated phone case to take some bomb-ass selfies to post to all your social media accounts, letting your ex know you're doing JUST FINE without them.
6. Babydoll lingerie because you look amazing and you want to treat your damn self! Plus, the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Or so they say.
8. A handy sheet mask to get rid of all the stress you have from the arguing and passive aggressive texts you got before the big split.
10. An amazing plaque to remind you that Beyoncé herself wouldn't give in and text someone who really doesn't give a shit about her.
12. An amazingly pretty eyeshadow palette you can use on your downtime since it's never too late to pick up a new hobby.
14. An oversized robe, because you really can't focus on coordinating outfits at the moment so why even try?
16. A pair of fluffy slippers that will keep you nice and comfy while you tear up on the couch, reminiscing on all the good times you had with your (former) significant other.
18. An array of chocolates. Forrest Gump was right — you never know what you're gonna get in life, so why not indulge?
20. An oversized sweater that will tell every fuckboy in existence they have no chance in hell and back.
21. A set of self-affirmation cards to remind yourself that you are definitely as fly as you say you are, with or without a partner.
You to your ex.
Reviews here have been edited for length and/or clarity.