25 Things For People Who Are Basically About To Lose It
I'm pretty sure you've had it up to HERE with the bullshit.
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1. A pleasant travel mug with the most relatable statement you've ever seen in your life. Oh how you wish you could tell certain people this exact thing.
2. A gray t-shirt, because you're literally THIS FUCKING CLOSE to going off. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it.
3. A face mask with ampoule serum to restore much-needed moisture to your dry skin. Probably caused by stress, thanks to everyone who just can't seem to leave you alone.
4. A pack of nifty notepads to fill out whenever someone is being a nonsensical idiot. I'm looking at you, Liz from legal.
5. A bottle of melatonin so you can sleep like a baby and wake up refreshed for another fucking day of bullshit.
6. A book to inspire companionship with other people who just didn't give any fucks around midterms and finals.
8. A statement doormat so strangers understand you won't actually answer the door because your home is your safe space; fuck negativity.
9. A decision maker paperweight to see if cursing your boss out would actually be worth it, and not just to your soul.
11. A cute tote bag so you can subtly make a statement that bigotry will not be appreciated in your presence.
12. A nameplate to put on your desk anytime your boss feels like they can bother you with some fuck shit.
13. A pretty change purse, because you're the baddest bitch of all, even if you are eternally frustrated.
14. A handy contoured eye mask to block out all of the haters because they sure as hell don't matter.
15. A very direct art print for when you just gotta let your real feelings out about everyone you have ever come in contact with.
17. A set of difficult-to-break shot glasses to throw down your assorted spirits as hard as you like.
18. A notepad so you can list everyone you have a fucking problem with — you'll always remember when the time comes.
19. A fancy mug to subliminally flip everyone the fuck off while you drink your favorite hot beverage.
20. A boozy subscription box so you can take the edge off from a long-ass day filled with stupidity.
21. A positive notepad that will remind you to actually take time for yourself and enjoy the little things.
22. A relatable T-shirt because you're actually SO DONE that you don't even have the energy in you to react. What's the point?
23. A head massager to relieve the stress of everyone in your life who just can solve their own damn problems.
24. A pair of noise-cancelling headphones so you can choose not to hear your mother calling you from the kitchen and asking why you haven't washed the dishes yet.
25. A duffel bag to carry with you on the way to the gym so random dudes understand you are not one to mess with.
Good luck not fucking losing it; I believe in you and even if you do, they deserved it!
Reviews here have been edited for length and/or clarity.