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1. A pleasant travel mug with the most relatable statement you've ever seen in your life. Oh how you wish you could tell certain people this exact thing.
2. A gray t-shirt, because you're literally THIS FUCKING CLOSE to going off. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it.
3. A face mask with ampoule serum to restore much-needed moisture to your dry skin. Probably caused by stress, thanks to everyone who just can't seem to leave you alone.
4. A pack of nifty notepads to fill out whenever someone is being a nonsensical idiot. I'm looking at you, Liz from legal.
5. A bottle of melatonin so you can sleep like a baby and wake up refreshed for another fucking day of bullshit.
6. A book to inspire companionship with other people who just didn't give any fucks around midterms and finals.
7. An oversized sweater that will tell every fuckboy in existence they have no chance in hell.
8. A statement doormat so strangers understand you won't actually answer the door because your home is your safe space; fuck negativity.
9. A decision maker paperweight to see if cursing your boss out would actually be worth it, and not just to your soul.
10. A Chloe doll that honestly really lives up to the meme itself.
11. A cute tote bag so you can subtly make a statement that bigotry will not be appreciated in your presence.
12. A nameplate to put on your desk anytime your boss feels like they can bother you with some fuck shit.
13. A pretty change purse, because you're the baddest bitch of all, even if you are eternally frustrated.
14. A handy contoured eye mask to block out all of the haters because they sure as hell don't matter.
15. A very direct art print for when you just gotta let your real feelings out about everyone you have ever come in contact with.
16. Cheerful glasses that'll show strangers who approach you what to do with their hellos.
17. A set of difficult-to-break shot glasses to throw down your assorted spirits as hard as you like.
18. A notepad so you can list everyone you have a fucking problem with — you'll always remember when the time comes.
19. A fancy mug to subliminally flip everyone the fuck off while you drink your favorite hot beverage.
20. A boozy subscription box so you can take the edge off from a long-ass day filled with stupidity.
21. A positive notepad that will remind you to actually take time for yourself and enjoy the little things.
22. A relatable T-shirt because you're actually SO DONE that you don't even have the energy in you to react. What's the point?
23. A head massager to relieve the stress of everyone in your life who just can solve their own damn problems.
24. A pair of noise-cancelling headphones so you can choose not to hear your mother calling you from the kitchen and asking why you haven't washed the dishes yet.
25. A duffel bag to carry with you on the way to the gym so random dudes understand you are not one to mess with.
Good luck not fucking losing it; I believe in you and even if you do, they deserved it!
Reviews here have been edited for length and/or clarity.