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1. A minty glass candy cane dildo so you can have some sweet, sweet orgasms. 'Tis the season!
2. An oral sex simulator that just might be better than the real thing — it has 10 tongues.
3. A small waterproof finger vibe with three speeds made especially for heavenly clitoral stimulation that might make you sing.
4. A Santa vibe so the jolliest man alive can keep you ho ho ho-ing all night long. It's his personal present from him to you.
5. A truly quirky rubber ducky vibe that'll make you quack with pleasure.
6. A pretty penguin clit vibrator with 11 different modes to drive you crazy because they mate for life and your private parts aren't excluded.
7. A secret vibe hidden in a candy cane because you definitely want to be on the nice list this year, especially if the nice list includes multiple orgasms.
8. A whopping nine-inch vibe for everyone who prefers length to girth this holiday season.
9. A ~pleasure enhancer~ to softly blow cool air on your sensitive parts so you can fall over the edge again, and again...and again.
10. A set of kinky ben-wa balls to stimulate your g-spot and strengthen your pelvic floor. Who knew working out could be so ~pleasurable~?
11. A truly touch-free clit stimulator with super-cool vacuum technology for an intense end to your ~private time~. Who needs oral when you have this, baby?
12. A simple velvet touch vibe that you can use for clitoral or vaginal stimulation. A jack of all trades and the master of your orgasm!
13. A curved g-spot vibrator with a curved head to have you seeing the stars of the North Pole. Maybe even Ruldolph if the orgasm is good.
14. An array of sweet heart candy butt plugs so you can keep your butthole stretched until Valentine's Day.
15. A vibrating cock ring to keep your junk nice and alert while you're getting down in-between the sheets.
16. A gargantuan purple monster capable of giving you the multiple orgasms you've asked Santa for.
17. A jelly anal starter dildo to slowly stretch your sphincter muscles in just the right way.
18. A fucking Fleshlight to jack into till the reindeer come home because it's the magnum opus to penis owners everywhere.
19. Or if you want some deep throat realness, try a pocket pal with some intense suction for the best orgasm you've had...today.
20. A truly magical magic wand. Not only does it get the hard-to-reach kinks out of your back, but it will literally have you reaching a peak where tears come out of your eyes. It's THAT good, y'all.
21. A discrete necklace vibe to wear at every holiday party just in case you feel like getting a little frisky on your bosses' office desk. We won't tell if you do.
22. A "butterfly kiss" massager to gently but consistently press upon your sensitive bits until you say stop. A Merry Christmas, indeed.
23. A beginner's jackrabbit vibe with a rotating shaft for double vaginal and clit stimulation to be as jolly as Dancer, Prancer, and Vixen.
24. An ultra-expensive 18K gold vibrator to take you to higher heights. You deserve it — you swear you've been a good girl.
And a bow costume so your lover can view you as a snack they definitely wanna eat.
Reviews here have been edited for length and/or clarity.