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The question we've been asking for over four thousand years

Which Indo-European Subfamily Are You?

Most important ingredient in a meal?

Favorite letter shape?

Which one sounds loneliest to you?

A sentence you would write:

What's your biggest problem with Proto-Indo-European?

A celebrity you'd recognize:

What do you call that big hairy thing eating all of my honey?

Which is your ideal vacation destination?

Letters? Feh, who needs 'em? A *real* scholar uses syllables! With plenty of ideograms! Also, you died over two thousand years ago.

Anatolian

You just showed up one day, and nobody can agree where you came from. But one thing's for certain: you don't have as many words for "mustache" as people think.

Albanian

Exasperation of aspiration, sensitive to satemization. Only God can judge you but that doesn't stop every philologist from trying.

Armenian

You're barely put together, and some people still think you'll fall apart. But don't worry, you know you're the Wild Beast of the Wild East. Really into the Witcher

Balto-Slavic

You're all about change. When things around you change, you can adapt. But also fuck imperialism.

Celtic

You might think you're normal, but you're honestly one of the weirdest people around. But don't let that get you grimm.

Germanic

Greece is the word, it's the word that you heard,
It's got groove, it's got meaning.
Greece is the time, is the place, is the motion,
Now, Greece is the way we are feeling.

Hellenic

You're not tripping, you're high on the divine presence! Also on shrooms

Indo-Iranian

''Rome — vortex of modern civilization! Rome — fountainhead of culture! Rome — blazing pronouncement of mankind's most glorious achievements!''
...
“Columns, columns! Get your columns here! Ionic, Doric, Corinthian! Put a few columns in front, turn any hovel into a showplace! Columns! Sir, don’t touch the merchandise! All right now, columns, columns!”

Italic

Anatolian? Bah, it's easy to read what's written on stone. You prefer to take things the hard way — ancient manuscripts in the middle of the desert. Life may be suffering, but you're dead so no problem.

Tocharian

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Which Indo-European Subfamily Are You?

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