13 Things You Should Never Bet On A Coin Toss

So what's it gonna be: Heads or tails? Tune in to The BuzzFeed Block for No Country for Old Men and We Were Soldiers this Saturday on IFC, starting at 8/7c.

1. The name of your firstborn child.

Sorry, sweetie, it was a split between "Jennifer" and "Optimus Prime" and, well, it came up heads. Now let's transform and roll out to get some ice cream.

2. Where you should get married.

Via cheezburger.com

3. Where you should get your new tattoo.

Via funnyjunk.com

"It came down to 'a tattoo of a face on my butt' or 'a tattoo of a butt on my face,' and I think I may have regrets."

4. Which wire to cut to disarm the bomb.

Via knowyourmeme.com

5. What your college major should be.

Via lolbrary.com

It was a toss-up between "Neuroscience" and "Memes 101," and let's just say there's going to be one less neuroscientist in the world.

6. If you should quit your day job.

No Country For Old Men / Miramax Films / Via floatingsky.tumblr.com

To be fair, minimum wage is not worth life-or-death encounters with psychopaths and their bad haircuts.

7. If you should "reply all" to that company-wide email.

brittens.org / Via dailyedge.ie

8. If you should go to the emergency room.

Via funnyjunk.com

Wait wait wait wait. So the bone's supposed to be inside the skin?

9. If you should call for backup.

We Were Soldiers / Paramount Pictures / Via movieeducation.tumblr.com

10. If you should try to sneak into the penguin exhibit or the lion cage at the zoo.

Via forgifs.com

To be fair, lions are dangerous, but penguins are jerks.

11. Which potential drowning victim to save.

Via ohmagif.com

12. Whether you should take your vacation in North or South Korea.

Via tumblr.4gifs.com

13. Whether you should fake your own death and assume a new identity.

Via iruntheinternet.com

It was either that or, you know, pay off your student loans. Simple choice.