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Fuck, Marry, Kill: GOP Edition

A NOTE: The definitions of "fuck" and "marry" used here are very, very loose. Think S&M-dom, riding-crop-happy fuck and highly contractual, purely utilitarian, NDA-laden marriage.

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Given the opportunity, which of these GOP leaders and associates would you subject to unspeakable acts of **hypothetical** debauchery?

Ian Martella / Via Individual Images: Wikimedia Commons

Don't hold back, dear Buzzers. You know they wouldn't. Hypothetically.

Con: If you kill her, seven blond, wire-haired Afghan hounds will rise in her place and spread lies across mainstream cable news with renewed enthusiasm.

Pro: If you marry her, you maybe get to help redefine contemporary history—as it's written!

  1. The choice is yours.

    Flickr / Gage Skidmore
    Fuck
    Marry
    Kill

Fuck, Marry, Kill: GOP Edition

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The choice is yours.
  1.  
    vote votes
    Fuck
  2.  
    vote votes
    Marry
  3.  
    vote votes
    Kill

Pro to pretty much any of these choices: You get to exercise your reverse-Napoleon complex constantly, singularly or sporadically.

Con: actually having to do any of those things to/with him.

  1. What'll it be?

    Flickr / Gage Skidmore
    Fuck
    Marry
    Kill

Fuck, Marry, Kill: GOP Edition

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What'll it be?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Fuck
  2.  
    vote votes
    Marry
  3.  
    vote votes
    Kill

I'll withhold my vote on this one. *Continues waxing official replica Orc-hide whip.*

  1. You know you want to.

    Flickr / Steve Bannon
    Fuck
    Marry
    Kill

Fuck, Marry, Kill: GOP Edition

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You know you want to.
  1.  
    vote votes
    Fuck
  2.  
    vote votes
    Marry
  3.  
    vote votes
    Kill

Very little to say here. That Granzaddy thing certainly isn't working for me.

  1. "Putin on the Ritz." That's all.

    To each their own.
    Wikimedia Commons

    To each their own.

    Fuck
    Marry
    Kill

Fuck, Marry, Kill: GOP Edition

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"Putin on the Ritz." That's all.
  1.  
    vote votes
    Fuck
  2.  
    vote votes
    Marry
  3.  
    vote votes
    Kill

As witnessed in Shonda Rhimes' political draMASTERPIECE, Scandal, having connections with the press secretary can prove useful in situations requiring a little leverage. That said, this personally is most def not a marry.

  1. Does shifty rhetoric turn you on? Or does it turn you to into a festering mess of pure hatred?

    Wikimedia Commons
    Fuck
    Marry
    Kill

Fuck, Marry, Kill: GOP Edition

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Does shifty rhetoric turn you on? Or does it turn you to into a festering mess of pure hatred?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Fuck
  2.  
    vote votes
    Marry
  3.  
    vote votes
    Kill

He Who Unfortunately Shall Not Be Named Less Frequently, pictured below expressing his size-related predilection for... Political victories.

NOTE: The kill vote on this is HYPOTHETICAL. As in NOT A CALL TO ARMS. This is a BUZZFEED QUIZ.

  1. No judgement. None whatsoever.

    Wikimeda Commons
    Fuck
    Marry
    Kill

Fuck, Marry, Kill: GOP Edition

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No judgement. None whatsoever.
  1.  
    vote votes
    Fuck
  2.  
    vote votes
    Marry
  3.  
    vote votes
    Kill
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