Some babies are not actually cute, but you always say that they are.
You've had every possible bodily fluid thrown, spit up, or spilled on you.
It's hard to counsel patients against eating bad food when you remember what you had last night.
Every time the pager goes off, you want to throw it across the room.
You have favorite patients...
...and patients you can't stand.
You actually use WebMD or Wikipedia at times (but you'll never admit to it).
You see through every excuse when inanimate objects are lodged in body cavities.
You can be awake for 28 hours or more while caring for patients.
If you're not nice to the nurses and support staff, you're screwed.
Sometimes you don't hear a thing on that #%(*%$ stethoscope.
You often go 12 hours or more without eating, sitting, or peeing.
Packaged food on a patient's tray is up for grabs if they're sleeping. Fresh or open food is off limits.
You don't take your own medical advice.
People actually do hook up in the on-call room.