17 Details About Nick From "New Girl" That — And This Is An Understatement — Are Genius

    He doesn't wash towels, towels wash him.

    1. What he thinks is sexy.

    Jess asks, "You want my purses to be covered in gem stones," and Nick says, "All guys do, that's what we think is sexy, we want to be playing a saxophone in an alley and have you walk by in a mini skirt with a purse with gems, but you girls don't listen"

    2. What his level of literacy entails.

    Nick says, "I'm not convinced I know how to read, I've just memorized a lot of words"

    3. What he did for a period as a child.

    Nick says, "When I was 9, I fed cereal flakes to a frog and it died, then I fed cereal flakes to all little animals, squirrels can live through it, chipmunks can live, anything that lives half in and out of water dies and I don't understand why"

    4. What he named his testicles.

    Winston says, "You've named your testicles, and they're both named Sharon," and Nick says, "Yeah, so what"

    5. Who he would trust with his life.

    Nick says, "I'd trust Beyoncé with my life," flashback to him singing, "Ride it with my surfboard, surfboard, surfboard, bringing on that wood, oh baby, bringing on that wood," and back in the present Nick says, We be all night, we be all night"

    6. Why he wears his "long shirt" to bed.

    Nick wearing a shirt so long it's a dress, says, "It keeps the top really warm and lets my bottom breathe"

    7. Where he masturbated one time.

    Nick says, "When I was 13 years old, I once made love to myself behind a post office"

    8. What he revealed when he drank absinthe.

    Nick says, “You want to know what I'm thinking, I like dogs more than cats, I like chipmunks more than squirrels, I believe in UFOs, I had a bass teacher who did the standing bass who had a weird smell, I still think about it, his name was Mister Hilton"

    9. What he believes about horses.

    Nick says, "I believe horses are from outer space"

    10. Why he moved to LA.

    Nick says, "One of the reasons I moved to Los Angeles was to get closer to whales, so I can record them"

    11. Why he doesn't wash towels.

    Schmidt says, "Do you even wash it" and Nick says, "No, I don't wash the towel, the towel washes me, who washes a towel"

    12. What he listens to when he works out.

    Nick says, "When I workout, which isn't often, I listen to Huey Lewis 'cause it pumps me up, not ironically"

    13. What he forgot how to do.

    Nick says, "You don't forget how to be a lawyer, it's like riding a bike," flashback to him unable to ride and bike and he says "They've changed these," then Nick says, "Fine, I forgot how to ride a bike"

    14. Which Daily Show he thinks is the best.

    Nick says, "I prefer the Kilborn 'Daily Show,' I think it's the best one"

    15. What his phone plan is.

    Nick says, "I bought 10,000 minutes in 1999 and I'm still using them"

    16. What he once did when he walked by his mother sleeping.

    Nick says, "When I was 10, I once walked by my mother sleeping and I snuck in the room and I put a lemon in her mouth"

    17. And finally, what song he adores.