I Just Watched The "Blue's Clues" Pilot As An Adult And It Makes Me Wanna Wag My Tail
Genuinely never crossed my mind it was all a green screen.
As I'm sure you'd agree because you clicked on this, Blue's Clues is a magical show. It certainly defined my early childhood.
Which is why I, an "adult woman," decided to rewatch the first episode to see how it holds up.
It's called "Snack Time" and I am so excited to be two years old again.
OH MY GOD IT STARTS WITH THIS OPENING THE STORYBOOK THING! I HAVEN'T THOUGHT ABOUT THIS IN 300 YEARS!
This opening little tune is a part of me.
It's Blue, people!!!! Blue!!!!
Steve is...very eager.
Also he is clearly in his twenties.
After letting us in, Steve tells us it's almost snack time! Then Blue straight-up winks when Steve says he doesn't know where she is.
But fear not! We tell him where Blue is, Steve playfully scares her (all in good fun), and then he tells us what our snack is going to be.
He wiggles his eyebrows while he says this. I do not know what to make of it.
But to let Steve know what else she wants with her snack — after graham crackerrrrrrs, plates, and napkins (same, minus the plates and the napkins) — Blue makes a paw print! It's time to play Blue's Clues!
Steve does the "We are gonna play Blue's clues" song!
So Steve gets out the handy dandy notebook! I am freaking out!
~We're singing about finding paw prints~
This guy really lets a dog's whims dictate his life, huh?
Yes, Steve! Sit down in the thinking chair and think, think, think!
And now we're off! Blue had to have laid out the clues in advance. That is wild. Why do this? Why not just request what else you want for your snack?
Also, does Blue, like, dip her paws in paint? She must.
Steve's now drawing the clue (a cup) in his handy dandy notebook. Why doesn't he just take the cup with him? We will never know.
Also the pencil matches his shirt! The pencil matches his shirt!
Okay, so Steve's debating what the cup could mean, and he literally says, "You can't eat a cup for snack," which is my new favorite quote from anything ever.
But then he realizes Blue wants to put something in the cup! Of course she does. Imagine eating graham crackerrrrrrs without some sort of drink.
Pretty soon, we're helping Blue finish painting a picture of an elephant family. I don't understand how she's gotten so small.
The elephants in the picture talk and one of them says, "How ya doin', bro?" I was not expecting that.
After we finish painting, Steve follows Blue back into the...living room? The main room, where Steve is so surprised when the phone rings that he falls down.
It's Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper calling! By, the way, if Mrs. Pepper is a Mrs., she should be Mrs. Salt. If she didn't take her husband's name, she should be Ms. Pepper. The only way these names make sense is if they're not married, and that simply cannot be.
Over the phone, Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper tell Steve that Blue has made a mess in the kitchen, so we go to check it out. The kitchen's theme is ~yellow.~
Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper have French accents, lol. Did not remember that.
After we help put away the food (with the seemingly extra graham crackerrrrrr going in the fridge), we have to clean up these straws!
There's a real cleaning theme here.
But Steve! There's a clue on a straw that just showed up!
Sentient straws is not something I'm on board with. Also...how is Blue able to change the size of her paw prints????
This is both a great and a terrible drawing of a straw.
And Steve finally realizes Blue wants something to drink!
So Steve goes to look for Blue...but wait...it's...MAAAAIL TIME!
"Here's the mail, it never fails, it makes me wanna wag my tail, when it comes I wanna wail, 'Maaaaaail!'"
"We just got a letter, we just got a letter, we just got a letter, wonder who it's from!" A classic jam.
It's a letter from Morgan, Perrie and Brent. They're kids eating apples covered in peanut butter. Kewl.
Pretty soon, guess what, Blue goes into the painting on the wall! We've got to follow her!
"Blue skiddoo, we can, too!"
In the farm painting, Steve sings an Old McDonald remix with the lyrics, "We are farming for Blue's clues," which is not what's happening. But we take a detour away from looking for clues for a sec to help a couple chicks find their friends!
I want chick friends.
Okay, okay, so we go to find Blue again and we discover the next clue. The sizes of these paw prints are so confusing.
I cannot wait for the cow drawing.
Lol.
Hey, it's better than mine would be.
We go back to the thinking chair to ponder what Blue's clues mean she wants for her snack. My money's on milk.
Steve's first guess is that Blue wants to put a cow in a cup and drink it with a straw. That is a horror movie.
Yes! We figure it out, and the answer is indeed milk! Steve is so excited, he does a little dance! But also...who drinks milk with a straw?
Awwww, Steve and Blue have a cute moment. Imagine acting this.
Everyone comes over to celebrate the milk, I guess!
Then, oh my god, it's time for "so long." This ending song is everything. I am on cloud nine right now. I love you, Steve! I'll see you later!
