5 Ways You Can Express Empathy (It's Not Just For When Others Are Sad!)

Here are the 5 different ways we can express empathy in positive or negative situations!

What is empathy and why is it important?

The act of engaging in empathy can be beneficial for both the person expressing empathy, and the person receiving empathy. When we engage in empathetic behavior, we are able to experience others emotions, predict others behavior and understand their intentions, as well as understand ourselves better (Dewaele & Wei, 2012; Stueber, 2012). Engaging in empathy allows us to provide support to others by communicating that we understand and feel their emotions, situations, and experiences (De Vignemont & Singer, 2006; Suwinyattichaiporn, Guerrero,Broome, & Romero, 2016). When we think of empathy, we typically think of it in response to negative events, but it is important to know that we can also engage in positive empathy! This is when we express and feel positive emotions that others are experiencing (Suwinyattichaiporn et al., 2016). More importantly, empathy can help us to solves conflicts, reduce prejudice, increase intimacy, and help others (Pettigrew & Tropp, 2008; Broome, 1993; Dewaele & Wei, 2012; Block-Lerner, Adair, Plumb, Rhatigan, & Orsillo, 2007). Oftentimes, it is difficult for us to know how to engage in empathy with others, so below are some tips on how you can do this for both positive and negative events.

1. Verbal Affirmations

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Verbal affirmation can allow us to engage in empathy. Examples of this include listening to others talk about their feelings and providing comforting and encouraging words (Suwinyattichaiporn, 2016). For instance, if your friend is feeling upset about getting stood up on a date, you might listen to them talk about how they are feeling. One way to engage in empathy is to respond by listing all of their positive qualities, assuring them there is someone out there for them. Conversely, if a friend goes on a date and they are excited about their new love interest, you might verbally state how excited and happy you are for them.

2. Experience Sharing

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Experience sharing is when we let others know that we have felt similar to them or experienced similar situations (Suwinyattichaiporn, 2016). For example, if your friend is distressed they did not get the job they applied for, you might tell them a story about when you also did not land the job you wanted, or a story about how you too have experienced a similar disappointment, letting them know they are not alon

3. Empathetic Voice

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Empathetic voice involves changing our tone to comfort others. For instance, if someone is upset, you may use a low, soft, calming tone in order to try to get them to feel more relaxed rather than upset (Suwinyattichaiporn, 2016).

4. Emotional Reactivity

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Emotional reactivity is essentially mirroring another’s emotion and feeling or experiencing the same emotion they are (Suwinyattichaiporn, 2016). For example, if your partner gets a promotion at work and they are excited and happy about it, you will likely smile and engage in behaviors such as hugging to show that you are feeling what they are, rather than remaining calm or not showing interest in the event. If your partner is upset about an event that took place at work, you would show support by also feeling upset for them, rather than smiling and telling them to get over it or that it was not a big deal.

5. Empathetic Touch

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Empathetic touch is using physical contact to comfort or express happiness toward others (Suwinyattichaiporn, 2016). For instance, we may hug others if we are celebrating, or we may hug them if they are upset and we want to show that we understand how they are feeling. We may also touch people to show them that we care, whether it is because they are distressed, or we simply want to express our feelings of care toward them. For instance, if your friend is telling you a story about how stressed they are from work, you might give them a pat on the arm or back to convey empathy.

References

Block-Lerner, J., Adair, C., Plumb, J. C., Rhatigan, D. L., & Orsillo, S. M. (2007). The case for mindfulness-based approaches in the cultivation of empathy: Does nonjudgmental, present-moment awareness increase capacity for perspective- taking and empathic concern? Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 33(4), 501‒516.

Broome, B. J. (1993). Managing differences in conflict resolution: The role of relational empathy. In D. J. Sandole & H. van der Merwe (Eds.), Conflict resolution theory and practice: Integration and application (pp. 97‒111). Manchester, UK: Manchester University Press.

De Vignemont, F., & Singer, T. (2006). The empathic brain: How, when and why? Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 10(10), 435‒441.

Dewaele, J., & Wei, L. (2012). Multilingualism, empathy and multicompetence. International Journal of Multilingualism, 9(4), 352‒366. doi:10.1080/14790718.2012.714380

Pettigrew, T. F., & Tropp, L. R. (2008). How does intergroup contact reduce prejudice? Meta‐analytic tests of three mediators. European Journal of Social Psychology, 38(6), 922‒934.

Stueber, K. R. (2012). Varieties of empathy, neuroscience and the narrativist challenge to the contemporary theory of mind debate. Emotion Review, 4(1), 55-63.

Suwinyattichaiporn, T. (2016). Conceptualizing and Operationalizing Empathetic Expressions: Scale Development, Validation, and Message Evaluation. Arizona State University.

Suwinyattichaiporn, T., Guerrero, Laura K., Broome, Benjamin, & Romero, Mary. (2016). Conceptualizing and Operationalizing Empathetic Expressions: Scale Development, Validation, and Message Evaluation, ProQuest Dissertations and Theses.