12 Ridiculous Things You Can Buy Online In China

Real products, real results.

It’s a crazy world out there, with a lot of crazy products. If we take a journey through the vast depths of the stranger side of online shopping, we’ll end up at the Chinese e-commerce websites Taobao and Tmall.

With over 800 million products to choose from, sometimes things can get a little weird. Unfortunately, much of the western world is unable to understand Chinese, but Baopals is an online platform that allows users to browse and shop for Taobao and Tmall products in English. The wonderfully weird world of these websites is now easily accessible. From the cool to the cheap to the crazy, you can just about find anything you could ever think of on Baopals. You know what they say – Everything is made in China – but apparently, they really do mean everything.

We’ve sifted through the madness on a hunt for some truly special products, finding solutions to our flatulent problem, impotence and so much more! Here’s a collection of some of the craziest products we’ve found.

1. IQ Increasing Text Message

Baopals / Via baopals.com

$1.29

With over 50,000 sold, purchase this service and the seller will send you a personalized text message guaranteed to increase your IQ. The real genius is the person who thought of this idea and got that many people to pay for it. But after all, if you do end up deciding to purchase an IQ increasing text message your brain might just need all the help it can get.

2. Harmless Plastic Vegetables

Baopals / Via baopals.com

$5.67

These plastic vegetables are just absurd. They don't appear to have any practical use whatsoever. But just to be safe, we have ordered fifteen of them. They dare to go where no vegetable has ever gone before.

3. Korean Pop Star Clothing Hangers

Baopals / Via baopals.com

$8.58

Equal parts hair product and hunky upper body, dress these hotties up in whatever you want in the privacy of your own home. Great for tea parties, movie nights or your next trip to McDonald’s. The best part about a cardboard Korean Pop Star boyfriend is that they can’t talk back!

4. Hair Growth Oil

Baopals / Via baopals.com

$15.24

While the general assumption might be that this product should be use liberally on the head, people in China have come up with some alternative uses. According to the seller, “Women Can Also Long Beard”. It’s a dream come true!

5. "Viagra" Shorts

Baopals / Via baopals.com

$46.34

These shorts claim to give you sexual superpowers and may or may not detect crimes that are about to occur up to a 5km distance by triggering arousal. So if you see us suddenly take off running, know that it’s either because someone nearby is getting robbed or we are feeling a little frisky. Or maybe a bit of…both? We’ll leave it up to you to decide.

6. Dried Medicinal Bats

Baopals / Via baopals.com

$55.87

Over 100,000 sold! We hear they’re great on their own, in a stew or sprinkled liberally on a salad. You’ll never have to worry about your roommates stealing your snacks again. What are you waiting for?

7. Chinese Weight Loss Contraption

Baopals / Via baopals.com

$146.23

We’re not quite sure how this works, but we do know that it involves space travel and copious amounts of sweat. Sound suspicious? Chinese medicine dates back thousands of years, so don't knock it until you try it!

8. Snake Baijiu

Baopals / Via baopals.com

$49.37

That’s a real snake in a vat of baijiu, a strong Chinese alcoholic beverage you do not want to mess with. The snake is still undergoing fermentation, so you’ll need to wait at least one year before it’s safe to drink. It’s a long wait, but once it’s good and ready, you’ll have a delicious 120 proof snake baijiu that will cure joint pains, rid you of clogged arteries, and banish impotence.

9. Chin Rester 3000

Baopals / Via baopals.com

$35.88

Tired of keeping your chin up? Then the Chin Rester 3000 was made for you. With its elaborate, cutting edge pulley systems, you can quickly reel your chin up to a level that will emanate confidence and professionalism.

10. Chicken Diaper

Baopals / Via baopals.com

$2.66

For centuries, chickens have been limited to their chicken coops. But now, we can welcome them into our homes and other fun places without worrying about stepping on something unsightly. Welcome to your new life!

11. Giant Scrap Metal Robots

Baopals / Via baopals.com

From $1,155.24

Some say these are the original Transformers. You have to respect scrap yard workers for making the most of those leftover metals. Some might say this isn’t art, but they just don’t understand the concept of avant garde.

12. "Little Honey" Cat

Baopals / Via baopals.com

$1,428,007.54

Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s the Prada cat food and Gucci litter. Either way, “Little Honey” is the star we’ve been looking for. And for that price, you can be sure that she’ll show you a great time!

And there you have it! Thank you, China.

Check out the Baopals blog for more weird items, or go find just about anything you could ever desire at the Baopals website. Your chicken will thank you after it receives its brand spankin’ new diaper.

What is Baopals?

Baopals began when three best friends came together because they wanted the same thing: a better way to shop online in China. The platform currently services China and provides real-time updated information from Taobao & Tmall all the time, bringing users the latest products, sellers, prices, ratings, images and more.