25 Secrets Ambulance Dispatchers Will Never, Ever Tell You

    "I need an ambulance." "Why?" "There's a toilet roll holder in my butt."

    1. We don't like being called "phone operators".

    2. Our best calls are the ones where we help someone bring a baby into the world.

    3. And our worst calls are the ones where a baby or child has stopped breathing.

    4. People do die while they're on the phone to us, and it never gets any easier to deal with.

    5. Calls from suicidal people are difficult too.

    6. We get sworn at and verbally threatened a lot.

    7. We get incredibly weird calls all the time.

    8. Not to mention annoying, time-wasting calls.

    9. And, of course, calls from embarrassed people with weird things stuck up their bums.

    10. We cry way more often than you'd think.

    11. You don't need a university degree or healthcare background to be an EMD.

    12. We spend a shift with a group of paramedics in an ambulance as part of our training.

    13. And we learn CPR as well.

    14. Our computer system does quite a lot of the complicated medical work for us.

    15. But no computer and no amount of training can prepare you for the stress of taking your first call.

    16. One of the biggest challenges we face is finding out where people are, and what's happened.

    17. People expect ambulances to arrive instantaneously, like they do on TV.

    18. We don't get paid very much.

    19. Our long shifts are pretty disorientating.

    20. Which means we're not always available, and our friends struggle to get to grips with that.

    21. We miss lots of important family occasions as well.

    22. We barely get any time to talk to our colleagues.

    23. A lot of us go on to become ambulance technicians or paramedics.

    24. Calls from kids can be difficult, but they're also an opportunity to make a huge difference.

    25. So please, guys, stop saying things like: "Urgh I couldn't do your job. It must be horrible."

    This post was put together with help from a member of the Scottish Ambulance Service, and information provided by the London Ambulance Service.