Anyone who has ever left home will tell you that many wonderful things happen when you step out of your comfort zone and move to a new place or in my case, a new country. However, there will always be things that you miss about home. Of course you’ll miss your friends and family but I am talking about the things that make you say “WTF?” or “What year is this?” repeatedly throughout the day. From the things I miss most, I have also learned something about myself: my parents were right, I am just as lazy and impatient as they always said.
1. The Way Americans Speak English
I am not talking about the accent, the Irish accent is wonderful, but some of the terms used here in Ireland make no sense. To name a few:
Craic (pronounced "crack"): This means fun. It can also be used as "what's the craic" which translates to "what's up." So they make things even more difficult by having multiple meanings for made-up words.
Your Man/Your One: This one takes some getting used to. "Your man" refers to a guy, while "your one" means a girl. A common phrase you may overhear in Ireland is "your man was so drunk last night." This does not refer a man that "belongs" to you. It could literally be any man, so good luck figuring out who you are supposed to be talking about.
Speaking of Good Luck, the Irish tend to end conversations by saying "G'luck" and I truly have no idea why they are always wishing me luck. Do I look like I need luck all the time.
2. Netflix
Netflix in Ireland does not have Friends or The Office (US, of course). Need I say more? The worst part is when you login to Netflix everything looks the same. Then you search and realize* not one of the shows you want is available abroad. Please send DVDs and a DVD player.
*don't get me started on how why the Irish use "s"instead of "z"in words like realize. Oh and better yet, when pronouncing the letter "z" Irish people say "zed." Why?
3. Using a Dryer
I will never, ever get used to this one. Using an actual dryer is not considered normal here in Ireland, people tend to air dry their clothes. Since when do people have an entire day to wash and dry their clothes??? I want my clothes now.
4. Online Shopping
I hate shopping. I am notorious for ordering a ridiculous amount of clothing online and then returning it. Now I have to actually go to the store and try things on and worse, talk to people. Why.
5. Amazon Prime
Yes, Amazon Prime could fit into online shopping but I miss it so much, it deserves a category of its own. At home, I order everything on Amazon Prime, now if I order from Amazon it takes over a week to arrive and half the stuff I want doesn’t ship to Ireland. Sure, it is better for my credit card, but my sanity is taking a real hit here.
6. Delivery Services
Living in downtown Boston, I could have sushi and a television delivered in less than an hour thanks to Favor. Best part? I didn't have to leave my couch. In Ireland, I can get the sushi delivered but forget the TV.
7. Target
So, yes I am aware that I am lazy, no need to remind me. In Boston, when I was forced to do the unthinkable and actually go out, I went to Target. Who wants to go to three different stores when you can buy a halloween costume, a car tire and a PlayStation in the same place? Even more reason to have better delivery services here in Ireland. Looking at you, Favor.
8. Uber
Uber is a thing in Ireland but it is not nearly as popular as it is in the States. There are other apps but they are not nearly as good and can be very expensive. Am I supposed to walk or something?
9. Automatic Cars
Why. Why. Why do people in Ireland insist on making things more difficult for themselves?! It's bad enough that they drive on the other side of the road. How the hell am I supposed to go buy anything here? Hitchhike?
10. Garbage Disposals
How is this not a thing? I swear people enjoy making things more difficult. Without this incredibly essential piece of machinery, when I cook enough pasta for the entire neighborhood, I am forced to eat it myself or throw it away. When my pants no longer zip, I will blame you, Ireland.
11. Manicures
“We have an opening 3 weeks from tomorrow.” No joke, this was actually said to me when I had to do the unthinkable and actually call a nail salon. The only person I know who would book a manicure 3 weeks in advance is my grandmother.
12. US Customary System
Ok fine. This one's not Ireland’s fault, this one's on you, America. Now I have two choices when cooking: waste time converting between a system that only the US deems necessary and the metric system or just use the entire box of pasta. The choice is obvious, isn’t it?
13. Heinz Ketchup
As far as I am concerned Heinz is the only ketchup that exists. Anything else is fake. You will never know how good Heinz ketchup tastes until you are forced to dip your french fries* in a fake brand of "ketchup." I have considered carrying ketchup around with me so that I never have to worry when a restaurant thinks it is ok to serve "ketchup."
*or chips, as there known here in Ireland (why?)
14. Ice
When I order a soda I am always going to assume that it comes with ice. I shouldn’t have to ask for ice, I'll let you know if I don't want ice for some reason. When I am forced to perform such an outrageous act, I expect a glass full of ice, not 1 cube. WTF does 1 ice cube do?
15. Iced Coffee
Since apparently there is a nationwide shortage of ice in Ireland, you can only imagine that iced coffee is not really a thing. I made the mistake of ordering an iced coffee one day and was given a lukewarm cup of coffee with 4 ice cubes. Yes, 4 cubes is an improvement but that isn’t iced coffee, I don’t know what the hell that is.
16. Closets
I looked at close to 20 apartments* when moving to Dublin and not one of them had a real closet. They typically have “wardrobes” that take up a significant amount of space in the already tiny apartment. Looks like I won’t be getting that Carrie Bradshaw style walk-in closet anytime soon. On the plus side, I can reach my clothes, turn off the lights, and open the window all from my bed, so I win.
*Finding an apartment in Ireland is harder than getting into college in the US.
Ok, so it is not all bad. Ireland is actually a pretty awesome place, so here are a few things I definitely don’t miss about America:
1. Slow Credit Card Transactions
In Ireland, when inserting your chip the transaction takes seconds. Also, there is contactless payment here. For those of you who don't know what that is, it is basically how I imagine Harry Potter would pay if the Wizarding World used credit cards at Honeydukes. Yes, a country that doesn’t put ice in their soda can perform magic. America, listen up.
2. Expensive Phone Plans
My phone costs me 20 euro a month (about $24) including essentially unlimited data, unlimited texts and free calls! Gone are they days when I didn't understand my cell phone plan. That’s reason enough to pack up and move to Ireland right now.
3. Cost of Travel
I can fly to almost any part of Europe for less than a new pair of lululemon leggings.
4. Commercials
When watching sports Ireland, there are only commercials during half-time. Irish people may not be willing to make things easier for me but they do save me from having to watch the same commercial over and over again.
5. Food
If you have never been to Ireland you probably assume that the food isn't very good or that Irish people only eat potatoes and drink Guinness. You could not be more wrong. The food options here are fantastic and in most cases cheaper than the US.
6. Tipping
Speaking of food, there is another major difference between restaurants in America and restaurants in Ireland: tipping. People will tip about 10% when the service was excellent. In addition, tipping bartenders and taxi drivers is unheard of.
7. Tax Not Being Included in the Price
There is nothing worse than going to pay for your coffee and realizing you don't have enough money because you forgot to factor in the tax. In Ireland, there is no tax added onto the price listed on the menu.
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