Ways To Ruin Your Relationship

Created by: Nia Howard, Paula Coelbl, Marlene Hughes

The Road to Destruction

Many partners do not realize how destructive their behaviors can be to their relationship. Implementing negative behaviors at the foundation of a relationship can brew repeated harmful actions and be detrimental to the long-term success of the couple. There a many misconceptions on what creates an unhealthy relationship and here we will give insight on the reality of these negative/positive behaviors.

1. Not Treating Your Partner With Contempt

Attacking each other's character is a key way to potentially damaging your partner's self-esteem and confidence in the relationship. Acknowledging differences and approaching conflict with respect is the best way to create a healthy atmosphere even during times of turmoil.

2. Allowing Arguments to Become "Win or Lose" Scenarios

With many couples, they view arguments as a way to "one-up" their partner and a way to get "points" in the realm of who's right or wrong. In reality, if partners implement constructive conflict resolution tactics, arguments can be a platform to lay all the issues out on the table.

3. Communication Is Not The Only Fault

Although lack of communication can be the precursor to a struggling relationship, there are several other contributing factors. If you have a one-sided perspective of the relationship you may not be seeing what you can work on as well. Inward-looking is always a great way to tweak or fix the slight issues to avoid a major malfunction.

4. The Refusal of Communication

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In many cases, to avoid a major blow-up couples will indirectly avoid an issue and put in the back burner of their mind. Although the issue is out of sight, it is still there, waiting to creep up and rear its ugly head. Before you know it, the issue has a larger impact than before. If issues are not addressed at first sight, harsh communication will take the place of lack of communication.

5. Lack of Establishing Clear Boundaries

When choosing to intertwine yourself with another in a relationship, you have to be prepared for the other person's life to become apart of your own. However, many couples do not establish clear boundaries when it comes to outside friends and family which could lead to discomfort with your partner. Be clear with what aspects of each other's life you intend to share. Not every part of you needs to be affiliated with your relationship.

6. This is (NOT) the End of the Road

Looking at these detrimental aspects of a relationship, you may be thinking you and your partner are already at the point of no return. THIS IS NOT TRUE. For every negative interaction counteract it with a GREATER and POSITIVE reaction. Put in the effort and time to restore your relationship to its natural balance. Be hopeful that every conflict is resolvable and build a network of accountability with your partner when it comes to conflict.