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16 Steps For Surviving An All-Out Human Vs. Vampire War

Lines have been drawn. Louisiana has declared war on vampires, and plenty of deaths and true deaths are on their way. All of it goes down on the new season of True Blood, premiering on Sunday, June 16 at 9PM, only on HBO.

1. Wake up! Bloodshed is coming:

2. Try to keep it together:


4. Arm yourself with a good stake:

5. Or whatever weapons you've got:

6. Remember to wear some sensible battle shoes:

7. Dress appropriately:

8. Buddy system! Find someone tall, attractive, and over 1,000 years old:

9. But—you know—don't get too comfortable:

10. Let the past stay in the past:

11. Consider resolving some old squabbles while you still can:

12. Or just let the insults flow:

13. Because it's okay to taunt your enemy:

14. Just know when to chill out for a second:

15. Because it's about to get real:

16. (Oh! And always trust Lafayette with your secrets)