1. Neither raw nor "cooked" chicken should ever be purple.
2. Cinnamon raisin bagels suck to begin with (hot take), but using them as the base for a pizza bagel is WRONG.
3. Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey.
4. It's not delivery, it's Disgusting™.
5. When I say I want leafy greens, I don't mean the whole garden in which they grew.
6. Calling this a chicken salad sandwich is like me going to the gym once a year and calling myself an athlete.
7. If I saw this in my food, I'd immediately transfer schools.
8. Those are cinnamon apples — and they need to stay on pastries like the good Lord intended.
9. This looks like a meal you'd give a toddler who's being introduced to solid foods.
10. Ice cream, but make it a health code violation.
yea...that's a moth in my ice cream... #collegefood
11. OK, you're just throwing shit together. Tacos, my ass.
12. Now we're at the portion of the program called Crimes Against Cheese. First up: this ham sandwich.
13. How dare you defame the good name of the most classic American food with a SINGLE strip of cheese!!
14. Apparently I didn't make myself clear. A burger has a cheese slice. Not some shavings thrown on the top.
15. OK, so we're getting there. You've got the slice; now you just need to, ya know, melt it.
16. The cheese? On an end slice?? Nope, sorry, that's wrong.
17. In my most drunken attempts at mac 'n' cheese I have done INFINITELY better than this.
18. And last but definitely not least is this "grilled cheese," which looks like someone took a paint roller to a slice of bread.
