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The New “Happytime Murders” Movie Will Ruin Your Childhood And It’s Totally Worth It

In the back alleys, these puppets aren't playing nice.

The Happytime Murders hits theatres August 24, and we need to talk about the trailer...

...because current mood:

These puppets aren't the sharing, caring, after-school friends you grew up with.

Nope! Don't remember him...

Hey, kids! Can you think of a word that rhymes with "nightmares"?

These chain-wearing, gun-wielding puppets are capable of things like fights...

...the booger sugar...

...and LICKING?!

Safe to say you don't want this guy teaching you words that start with the letter "F."

Was your entire childhood a lie?

Well, just hold on a second. Don't go anywhere.

At a certain point, it's going to HIT you!

Some of these puppets are actually BOSS!

With the help of Melissa McCarthy, they're here to save their puppet pals from an evil serial killer. #honourable

Screw the ABC's. It's time for the FBI.

These big blue puppets may not like nuts in their cookies...

...but they sure know how to let loose and have a happy time!

No strings attached.

Besides, Maya Rudolph would never do you wrong, right?

And Joel McHale is dreamy in a suit. IDGAF.

So be honest, on the inside, your excitement level is this...

...but if you need to play it cool, that's fine too.

Will the good puppets prevail? Catch The Happytime Murders in theatres on August 24.

View this video on YouTube