Posted on May 18, 2021

23 Tumblr Jokes About Families That Are Just So Spot-On

"I will do a lot of things, but admitting I'm cold to my mum, who told me to bring a jacket, isn’t one of them."

by Hannah Marder

BuzzFeed Staff

Text from Mom saying "Do not buy your dad anymore toys" and text from Dad saying "I got in trouble with my light saber"

"you guys all talk about how 'petty' you are but one time my mom was so annoyed that the house was a mess that she made an actual vlog ... calling out every single family member for their shit and then threatened to post the video on facebook"

"my mom told me to stop vapeing in the house and my dad just texted me this: they are conspiring against us. vapers. rule. stay strong. update: from dad: this is the VAPE LORD. Puff and blow at mom. I am your father"

"Dads love to talk about roads. Whatd u take to get on the highway. Whatd you take to get off the highway"

"one time my parents had an argument because my dad bought a bald cap for $2.70 but he was already bald"

"*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free"

"How to summon a dad:
-Make a circle out of power tools. (Screwdrivers and wrenches will do in a pinch)
-Place a pair of socks inside sandals in the middle of the summoning circle
-Chant “Hi Hungry, I’m dad” over and over
-Touch the thermostat"

"is it really so difficult, so troublesome to put the bread tie back on the bag" response: "my mom made this post"

@shatteredandpurple

"my mom posted this on my facebook wall because I dont want to go to the zoo with her" (photo saying "don't come to my funeral to show how much you cared about me...show me how much you care about me now...while I'm alive")

"My Parents Need to Stop Touching My Stuff: The Musical featuring the hit single 'Put that thing back where it came from or so help me'...First Song: Close My Door All The Way...Big Group Number: I Know You Have A Favorite (It’s Not Me)"...etc"

"mom: hey *dad’s name* oh whoops i mean *brother’s name* oh no *sister’s name* i mean *name of the family goldfish* ah shoot i meant *your name* can you get down here really quick i need something" then stories about parents forgetting names

"i will do a lot of things but admitting im cold to my mum who told me to bring a jacket isn’t one of them"

"You’re the town’s superhero. Your greatest enemy is the town’s supervillian. However, secretly, your both brothers. This isn’t anything tragic, as your whole destructive rivalry is actually just a massive prank on your third brother, the mayor"

Someone says some sibling interactions in media are obviously written by only children, and then another points out that in movies, siblings apologize, but they don't in real life

someone points out that only sibling-less writers write "hey bro!" or "hey little sis!" and someone asks what people call their siblings and then others share the insults they use

someone points out that it's impossible to write realistic sibling dialogue and then others share the nonsensical exchanges and strange communication they have with their siblings

someone posts that they want a nice older brother with hot friends that defends you and people reply with stories of their brothers farting on them and duct taping them to treadmills and locking them in pet cages

Stories about things peoples convinced their siblings of, like that clowns hatch from rotten eggs and naming stuffed animals bring them to life, and that electric shocks give you superpowers, and oreos don't have cream

Story about OP saying "bust a nut" in front of their 11-year-old sister and telling their dad it meant being mad, and then the dad uses the phrase in a meeting with state admirals

"My dad and i were hanging christmas lights outside and he plugged them in and said 'doesn’t this just light up your life?' and I asked him why he was pun-ishing me and he had to sit down to think of a good comeback...i won"

Text from someone's mom saying to lock the doors because someone is prowling houses and cops were called but no one was caught, then a winky face — OP asks why the winky face, and someone replies "she's the prowler"

"Your mom finding her friend at a store is like unskippable cutscenes"

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