In Case Your Parents Are Still Watching Fox News, This Is The Kind Of Crap They're Seeing

"Leftists hate you and your baby!"

1. Yep, this was a real topic discussed on Fox News, which the Pentagon legitimately had to release a public statement to deny.

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2. Fox News once briefly displayed a banner calling President Joe Biden a "wannabe dictator" (the producer responsible later resigned).

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3. Can you imagine taking up actual news time on one of the big four news networks to talk about how it's "unbecoming" for men to use straws?

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Here's what he had to say about straws: “I recommend that all men refrain from using straws. It’s unbecoming the way a man’s lips purse. The size of the straw is just too dainty. The way your fingers clasp on it. No, come on. Straws are for women and little kids."

4. And I really don't see how the President eating ice cream is news.

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5. Fox News really brought on Fabio to speak about the Israel-Hamas war.

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6. And Pauly D (yes, from Jersey Shore) to speak about inflation.

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7. Remember when Fox News fell for the "Birds are fake" satirist?

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8. Fox News was actually forced to apologize after showing this messed-up graphic about how the stock market saw gains after the death of Black men.

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9. Did you know that leftists hate you and your baby?

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10. I mean..."they" have always "wanted to control" how fast we drive? That's why we have speed limits?

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11. I'm not sure anything can top Fox News bringing on a psychic to ask what was in store for Donald Trump in 2024, especially considering she drew a tarot card representing "loss." You can't make this crap up.

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12. Once again: a real topic discussed on Fox News.

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13. Apparently rainbow capitalism is "news," too.

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14. Fox News also had a massive problem with a couple brief exchanges about they/them and she/they pronouns on a kid's TV show, calling it "destructive and corrosive lies." Which is rich coming from Fox News.

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15. You gotta love a panel discussion on the "war on women" that doesn't feature a single woman.

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16. Yep, Fox News really brought on a guy who said former Attorney General Eric Holder was a bigger threat to America than Al-Qaeda, and advertised with this graphic.

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17. Back in April 2020, The Daily Show nominated some of the "iconic Fox News screenshots of the pandemic," and I feel the need to include some. Like this one.

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18. And this one, that had already aged wildly poorly in April 2020 even considering it was only, like, a month into the pandemic.

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19. You guys, they're on to us and our plot to brainwash children against capitalism via The Muppets.

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20. And our plot involving The Lorax!!! Quick, emergency Illuminati child-eating meeting at the pedophilic pizza parlor to discuss next steps!

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21. I just think the "fake moral outrage" Fox is always blaming liberals for is funny considering how they platform stuff one guy is saying online to the world and pretend it's some new massive woke/cancel culture movement in order to stoke outrage.

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22. Although, it seems Fox thinks SpongeBob actually has a "woke" agenda — they literally said so.

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23. You just gotta love that the "true spirit of Santa Claus" is news. Oh, and that Megyn Kelly said that Santa Claus is 100% white, and supporting that assertion is also news.

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24. Leave it to Fox News to make fun of a Christmas dance video FLOTUS posted, like they're a bunch of bullies gossiping after a middle school recital, and, y'know, not one of the biggest news networks in America.

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25. Oh lord. Who is writing these chyrons, and can we send them back to grade school?

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26. This is just a complete fabrication that Fox later had to clarify was not true.

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27. And finally, we can't finish this post without mentioning Tucker Carlson's fury over the Green M&M being redesigned to be less sexy, and these hilarious chyrons. I truly think we're living in an episode of Veep.

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