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Which PHTS Staff Member Are You??

Because we love our staff!!

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  1. What's your favorite color?

    Pink
    Pink
    Glitter
    Glitter
    Does plaid count?
    Does plaid count?
    Grey.
    Grey.
    Black
    Black
    I love all the colors! Red, orange, blue, purple, and yellow!
    I love all the colors! Red, orange, blue, purple, and yellow!
    Fuck the colors
    Fuck the colors
    Red, white and blue!
    Red, white and blue!
  2. What's your catch phrase?

    Noice!
    Kill your baby
    Fuck the fuckers
    This is a world in which . . .
    Surprising, but inevitable
    You're not wrong
    I have to go to the bathroom
    How's everyone doing?
  3. What do you wear on an average day?

    Flannel and jeans
    Flannel and jeans
    I prefer nudity.
    I prefer nudity.
    All black.
    All black.
    It doesn't matter because I look fabulous in literally everything
    It doesn't matter because I look fabulous in literally everything
    Hoodie and hat
    Hoodie and hat
    T-shirt and cargo shorts
    T-shirt and cargo shorts
    Stylish but comfy clothes
    Stylish but comfy clothes
    Appearances first; physical activity is a NO
    Appearances first; physical activity is a NO
  4. What's your favorite play?

    Anything by Chekov
    Earthquakes in London
    Our Town, if I had to choose
    Oh my god, what a horrible question!
    The shows my students create!
    Whatever show I'm currently working on
    Anything with nudity.
    Mr. Burns
    Anything with a strong, powerful female lead
  5. If you were going to die today, how would you die?

    On a red velvet chair, drinking wine, with Cyndi Lauper playing in the background
    I'm immortal
    Killed in a Trump protest
    A stampede of playwrights students
    Jumping off a cliff!
    Too many sun salutations
    Awkward conversation
    But what is death?
    Chaturanga-ed
  6. Pick a drink

    Tea
    Tea
    All alcohol.
    All alcohol.
    White wine
    White wine
    Coffee
    Coffee
    Beer
    Beer
    Whiskey
    Whiskey
    Vodka
    Vodka
    Cosmo
    Cosmo
    Margarita
    Margarita
  7. Pick a place to live

Which PHTS Staff Member Are You??

You got: Jedadiah Shultz

Congrats! You're Dad! You're socially awkward but in the best way. You also give really good hugs. You like playing games but still accomplish your work. You can be seen daily rocking a nice flannel and jeans, awakening the lumbersexual in us all. Noice!

Jedadiah Shultz
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You got: Ryan Justesen

You might as well call yourself Whiskey Mom! Though you seem intimidating at first, you have a big heart. You love yoga and hot tea. We don't care that you wear the same pants every day because you can slay those sun salutations. Chekov and Shakespeare are your idols and you probably have a thing for Stoppard too. You hold on tightly and let go lightly.

Ryan Justesen
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You got: Deb O

DEB O! You design some fucking beautiful stuff. You're honest and blunt and will not take anyone's bullshit. You work hard for and don't settle for anything less than 100%. You don't give a flying fuck about anything and that is GREAT. You love dressing like you belong in Adler but you always add a pop of pink. You are constantly trying to figure out how social media works but that's okay; we love you, anyways. Keep on killing your babies (and asking friends to help you with your projects)!

Deb O
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You got: Jean

You're the Queen of Playwrights! You're "flawless". You somehow manage to balance your ridiculous schedule while remaining to look perfect and keep a calm composure. Not even just calm--you're ALWAYS SO NICE. You're actually a unicorn with magical problem solving powers. All hail the queen.

Jean
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You got: Victoria

You are a lovely human being with a big heart. You try your best to make everyone smile (and you do!) You represent #green group with pride. People may not give you the recognition you deserve, but you are definitely the only reason shit gets done. You're an icon and you don't even know it. Keep it up, girl!

Victoria
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You got: Salty

You are Salty! You are so beautiful and so gay and we love you for it! You know how make an entrance, light up a room, and slay your way through life. You create your own amazing work and are definitely going places with it. You are fashionable, classy, and, of course, sometimes salty. Good for you, girl!

Salty
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You got: Dan Safer

FUCK! You got Dan! Shit damn fuck hell yeah! You like to listen to strange Spotify playlists, get a new tattoo every day, and scare off children on the street! You're an exercise enthusiast who is lacking sweat glands (seriously--do you ever sweat??). Your body is carved from the Gods and you fucking know. Fuck the fuckers, screw America, and contact-improv your way through life!

Dan Safer
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You got: Fritz

Great. You're Fritz. You like to make randomly sexual comments (it's not class if you don't mention "libido" at least once). You have a fascination with understanding the world and the people in it. You take your time before speaking, and therefore always have well-thought-out comments. You're very nice but also know how to drag someone to hell if they need to be. You love using your hands to gesture, so keep on doing that!

Fritz
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You got: Max Reuben

You're Max! You're probably still crying over the election, so you won't be able to read this description through your tears, so we'll just leave it at that.

Max Reuben
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You got: Jenny Morris

You're Jenny! You probably arrive 10-40 minutes late to everything with a cup of coffee and a full bladder. You love yoga and suzuki, but only watching it; doing it would ruin your stylish outfit. Chekov is your bae, and you are full of stories about your mother that you're just dying to tell. You're constantly getting flown to LA for your amazing side-eye; casting directors LOVE YOU (and now you love yogurt and Verizon!) Congrats on your perfect family, successful career, and kooshball abilities.

Jenny Morris
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You got: Luke Miller

You got one of the Dads of Playwrights: Luke! You're a very chill person who is always down to talk. You love to effortlessly demonstrate difficult yoga positions to show off your incredible flexibility, balance, and body. You always check in with others and make sure they're okay. You make other's smile by just being there. Keep on being such a sweet soul!

Luke Miller
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You got: Claire Rothrock

Yes, Queen Claire! You are honestly a blessing to work with. You do everything with grace and style. You love playing games and having fun, but are also great at getting shit done. You are a powerful, intellectual being who will stand up for what you believe in! "You is smart, you is kind, you is important!" --actual Claire Rothrock quote

Claire Rothrock
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