We all know that Sparknotes are the unsung hero of the literature game, but you might not be aware that they have some pretty hilarious tweets that are sure to make any bookworm laugh out loud.
1. On old school literary techniques:
19th-century authors
2. On secret ex wives:
You're in his DMs, I'm locked in his attic but occasionally I'll sneak out to set stuff on fire. We're not the same.
3. On being an evil count:
might mess around and | 👀 | \ / ____| |_____ / ✊__/ \_✊ employ a series of disguises to steal the baudelaire fortune
4. On bad boyfriends:
Ladies, if he has: - no character development - a real knack for propelling the story forward - personality traits that contrast those of your primary love interest He's not your man, he's a plot device.
5. On excelling in your career:
JOB HUNTING - stressful - frustrating - a job in itself TAKING CAREER ADVICE FROM THREE WITCHES ON THE HEATH - ominous and cool - guaranteed results - you don't even have to do anything besides slay duncan and frame the servants. anyway your wife can help with that
6. On repeatable formats:
Shakespeare writing a play in which someone dies an easily preventable death due to a minor misunderstanding
7. On crappy disguises:
A Shakespeare character: *wears a thinly veiled disguise* Their closest friends and family:
8. On ghosting:
Cutting off all Appearing to communication Macbeth at a with someone banquet as a you're dating silent but haunting reminder of his sins 🤝 Ghosting
9. On getting dumped at the altar:
MOVING ON AFTER A BREAK-UP - healthy, mature SWEARING OFF ALL MEN & LIVING OUT THE REST OF YOUR DAYS WEARING A TATTERED OLD WEDDING DRESS IN A RUINED MANSION, HEART CONSUMED WITH BITTERNESS - a satisfying alternative, and a vibe
10. On being romantic:
Date ideas for Valentine's Day: - Get dinner - See a movie - Resurface after 5 years with a large fortune and a new identity to win the heart of the girl you love - Throw a party that symbolizes the moral corruption and superficiality of the rich - Die in a pool
11. On going stir crazy:
social distancing, day 1: I'm going to take this time to relax, self-reflect, maybe do some journaling social distancing, day 37: there's a woman in the wallpaper and I need to get her out
12. On TMI:
13. On being professional:
Signing off an e-mail with WARM REGARDS: - boring - impersonal Signing off an e-mail with GOOD NIGHT SWEET PRINCE, AND FLIGHTS OF ANGELS SING THEE TO THY REST: - unexpected - very personal - you've got your bases covered just in case they die
14. On living in a society:
no, YOU live in a society. I live on a deserted island with a bunch of british choir boys who were a little TOO quick to start murdering pigs with pointy sticks if we're being totally honest
15. On transformations:
WAKING UP EARLY - horrible WAKING FROM UNEASY DREAMS TO FIND YOURSELF TRANSFORMED INTO A GIGANTIC INSECT - honestly? preferable - you can stay home all the time - sure your family resents you now, but at least they bring you food
16. On the sanctity of marriage:
Call me old-fashioned, but I believe marriage should be between one person who murders the king of Scotland and another person who finishes the job when the first person panics
17. On plot twists:
John Steinbeck writing the ending to Of Mice and Men https://t.co/d0lWWlmSlV