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18 Of The Realest Overheard Tweets Of 2018

Proof that eavesdropping pays off.


an actual conversation overheard at the airport: “Will my fake breasts set off the metal detector?” “Are they metal?” “Oh”


Visiting a friend in hospital and I just overheard a doctor say ‘excellent, everyone is alive’, which I guess is probably ultimate doctor goals.


Today I overheard someone say, "P as in pneumonia"


Just overheard my daughter say to her baby doll: ‘Baby, I’m just having a gin, we’ve had a nice day so don’t spoil it by crying’. WHAT HAVE I DONE?!


Overheard man on phone: “Then my boss said to me, “I always tell my employees, you’re either the tortoise or the hare, but honestly Greg? Somehow you’re neither.””


Overheard in my dorm, from the hallway: “Dude, are those tearaway pants?” *ripping sound* “DUDE THAT’S SO COOL”


Just overheard my 11yo son on the phone with his friend, "Don't worry, I will bring some of my dad's money."


In the library studying overheard a girl say "Maybe if I refresh my grades page, the mark will increase" 💀


*Overheard conversation between 2nd grade boys* “Do you think you’ll ever fall in love?” “I don’t know. I think if she likes pancakes, then probably.”


Overheard a girl at McDonald's: "I don't need alcohol to send text messages I regret"


Overheard in the airport from a couple 75+ year old women: 1: “it’s early, let’s get a drink.” 2: “Ooo you’re right, I need tequila.” 1: “No Beth I mean coffee”


A kid I overheard at the grocery store: “I’m gonna get my brain taken out so I can just relax” Same kid, same


Just overheard on campus “Yeah dude, finals are coming up and I don’t even own the textbook yet” Mood


Overheard conversation: 8 year old: “I’ve been a flower girl at 6 weddings.” Friends: “What’s your secret?” 8YO: “I beg until they say yes.” You’re on the right track to sales, kid.


I was at lunch today and overheard these two guys talking 😂 “Have you been to the gym lately?” “No..... ran into a guy named Jim” “Same thing”


*overheard behind me on a plane* Dad: “you’re getting potato chips in Abigail’s hair” 6ish year old son: “calm down Kenneth”


Some 20-something year old boy I overheard on the subway: what do you think about gluten? Like, you think that shit’s real, bruh?


overheard a guy at work say to his friend "i'm still never gonna forgive u for putting the national anthem on my sex playlist that was the most awkward moment of my life" LOLLL