1.
The reason no one’s serving him lunch is because they can’t see him 😪 https://t.co/rsfLIVc0bM
2.
what is this Jane Austen headline
3.
“say goodnight to ya nan, she’s off to bed”
4.
waiting to get on a bus in leith, guy in front is taking ages trying to pay with his apple watch and someone else in the queue shouts ‘hurry the fuck up inspector gadget’ https://t.co/VEUeUSngXF
5.
the half eaten easter egg which wont fully cover with foil now, giving me the eye from across the room
6.
https://t.co/zh426a8lx9
7.
At the tube today, I thought this was a poem that I didn't understand. A minute later, I walked down a broken escalator and it all made sense.
8.
https://t.co/VfQWTuBs6u
9.
absolutely love politics here right now 😌
10.
I still think about these and the fact they’re discontinued every day
12.
Charles on the balcony on May 6th: https://t.co/gerbWLmChh
13.
i will never get over that this actually aired on national television https://t.co/ANegN2LfoS
14.
Just did a double take wondering why Caffè Nero commissioned a painting of Barry from Eastenders
15.
Only been 3 days on this bank holiday but I've already forgotten what it feels like to go to work. What a stupid little concept all that stuff is. Couldn't be me. I wish jesus was resurrected twice or even three times a year.
16.
The French police department to the French fire department after this announcement: https://t.co/Yj16eTj6u8
17.
OH HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED https://t.co/rXHNBQ9qVX
18.
https://t.co/NdiAzpzJle
19.
Kids will probably love this kids’ film, but I am a sophisticated adult and I found it a bit childish. 1 star. I will spend my pay cheque for this with real pride.
20.
Me breaking into my hard-earned Advantage Card points to buy face wash:
21.
omg is her name gonna be Millie Bobby Brown Bongiovi https://t.co/cc6CtF8ox4
23.
obviously break-ups suck however going through a break-up in the era of Torn by Natalie Imbruglia being released must have slapped a little
24.
"Sorry Nancy, something's come up, can we please reschedu—"
25.
he got banned from twitter for 24 hours during the 2019 general election for tweeting that the date for conservatives to vote was the day after everyone else x https://t.co/BJENYkqB6c
26.
https://t.co/k7zS8dQhHS
27.
briefly returning to twitter to share the name of the postie for my mum’s parcel