1.
Me working my first day at a bank:
2.
When you lied on your CV about having previous sheepdog experience. 📸: @CharlieMack7301
3.
Never forget that Robert Dyas walked so Wickes could run
4.
I rate that Jacqueline Wilson’s entire vibe was to teach children from a young age that life is pain
5.
You know when you know something is coming but it still doesn’t prepare you?
6.
the natural lifecycle of British writers.
7.
There’s sibling rivalry, then there’s my 4-year-old daughter faking a phone call from her one-year-old brother’s nursery to tell us that we don’t have to collect him today because he’s going to live there now and he ‘won’t even miss us’
8.
ENGLAND WON THE EUROS AND MY CAT WHO’S BEEN MISSING FOR NINE MONTHS WHO WE ALL THOUGHT WAS DEAD JUST CAME BACK. SHE JUST SAUNTERED IN AND WENT TO HER FOOD BOWL LIKE NOTHING HAD HAPPENED. WHAT A WEEKEND FOR ICONIC LADIES BRINGING IT HOME
9.
Obsessed with Darlington bidding to host Eurovision. That’s the kind of ambitious confidence I need to have in myself
10.
The government watching energy costs rise to impossible levels
11.
The myth of consensual sex: landlord edition
12.
Occasionally I get reminded of the time a Dutch friend came to the UK, and because Lloyds TSB don't say they are a bank on their ads, assumed Britain advertised horses on national TV.
13.
Remember when I found out my ex had been sending his mate messages saying he wanted to fuck 2 girls from work and he said he only said it cos I said I fancied The Rock when we watched Jumanji and it made him sad
14.
Dido singing about the worst morning of her life and opening the song with "My teas gone cold" is the most British thing I've ever heard.
15.
If this next season of Big Brother is full of wannabe influencers I will scream. I want to see Angela the warehouse operative who smokes 65 fags a day not someone who’s concerned about their social media presence 😭
16.
Ohhh they must be FUMINGGG
17.
Sum up the UK with a character, I’ll start
18.
Olivia Coleman was so mother for this. https://t.co/mshiHJTaUk
20.
Anti cat propaganda: ooh, cats are sly somehow, aren't they? Conniving. They'd eat you without a second thought & want only fancy things. Actual cats: you came home half an hour late so I waited at the door. I caught you a leaf! Anyway, time to lie down on my Sleeping Cardboard.