1.
Something I've always wondered is, how did Batman become Batman? Did he have a mum and dad? What happened there?
2.
therapist: so...you fight penguins and clowns? batman: jesus christ, for the tenth time, it's THE penguin and one SPECIFIC clown
3.
when will Batman wear purple again, the color in which he objectively looks cutest
4.
young bruce wayne: i fucken love wearing black alfred: yep bruce: i’m always moody alfred: yep bruce: im obviously gonna be goth alfred: u could do that. OR
5.
Batman be knocking people out in one punch and adding 365 more punches for every day Gotham got him fucked up
6.
I’ve always loved Batman cause I also blame my entire personality on my parents.
7.
Imagine being in Gotham tryna sell an 8th and Batman come break yo arm
8.
“Fuck off crybaby. Nobody cares.” - me to Batman if I ever have to see/hear his origin story again
9.
Bruh Batman is a menace to society
10.
Batman be like "I know a spot" then take you here
11.
If you are ever down about yourself, just remember that you have the same amount of superpowers as Batman.
12.
Batman: I’m vengeance Dad: hi vengeance, I’m dad Batman: Dad: I’ve also been dead for 20 years Bruce lol you gotta let me go
13.
Batman in comic books: I do not kill Batman in movies:
14.
Why did Batman's dad take his family to the hood movie theater anyway?
15.
alfred: you have emphysema batman: how? alfred: probably from using smoke bombs to get out of scary situations batman: oh alfred: batman: *slowly reaches for smoke bomb* alfred: sir
16.
I want a Batman with the Little Women ending, where Batman fights crime for a few years and realizes his vigilantism is really about his trauma and decides to start a school where anyone can learn
17.
My favorite super hero is Batman because his super power is financial security and that’s the kind of insane power fantasy I can get behind
18.
bruce when he gets asked if he's batman so it doesn't seem suspicious: https://t.co/jELnfd5Zpn
19.
bruce wayne really woke up one day and said “therapy is expensive, punching some guys is free”
20.
Batman: Didn’t I already fight you? Riddler: No that was the Joker. I’m the riddler. Batman: That feels like the same thing. Joker: Fucking THANK YOU!
21.
if i were batman i would simply tell the joker his jokes were not funny
22.
Even Batman can’t save us now, the wrong part of his face is covered.