1. Life is precious… pottery is expendable.
It is your choice—nay, your duty—to break suspicious ceramics. Rupees, man! Rupees!
2. Patience is a virtue.
GET ON WITH IT, OWL. I’VE GOT STUFF TO DO.
3. Make sure you have everything you need when you leave the house.
4. Don’t be a jerk.
5. Rather, wait until someone is a jerk to you first. Then you can be a jerk.
6. Always make eye contact.
7. Treat yourself.
8. In the face of adversity, make your own paths if you need to.
9. Defy physics! Whatever! Just make your own paths!
10. Whenever possible, wear flexible and breathable material.
11. No matter how busy you think you are, there’s always time for a spontaneous dance party.
12. Take care of your houseplants.
But don’t beat yourself up if they die. You probably tried your best.
13. Respect your elders.
Listen to their stories.
14. Invest in an alarm clock.
17. Accessorize, accessorize, accessorize.
18. Get a hobby.
Learn how to fish. Take up the ocarina. Smash pots against the wall. The possibilities are limitless.
19. Be nice to chickens.
They’re so innocent! Until you wrong them.
20. What did we just say about the chickens?!?
21. Life is full of second chances.
22. ABORT. NEVER MIND. THERE’S NO LESSON HERE.