The Worst Startup Job Titles Ever

Ever wanted to work at a startup? First, you’ll have to figure out what job you want. Find more innovative inspiration on Silicon Valley, premiering April 6 at 10pm ET, only on HBO.

1.
Todd Keith / Vetta / Getty Images

What they actually do: Research and trend forecasting about online behaviors. We think? Maybe.

2.
Dylan Otto Krider / (CC BY http://2.0) / Via Flickr: memekiller

What they actually do: Marketing strategy, usually for brands. Involves a lot of deck building, which doesn’t sound that magical after all.

3.

What they actually do: Account management/client services.

4.

What they actually do: Rule over the world of social media. AKA build some really exciting content calendars for brand tweets and Facebook posts.

5.
Chip Simons / The Image Bank / Getty Images

What they actually do: Sometimes known as the cultural director, this person makes sure you get cookies on your birthday and beers for that all-hands meeting. It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it.

6.

What they actually do: HR. Requires fewer years in school than actually operating on people.

7.

What they actually do: Probably strategy? We used our imagination on this one.

8.
Richard Bowen / (CC BY http://2.0) / Via Flickr: rbowen

What they actually do: Research and data analysis. Rocking.

9.
Dani Vasquez / (CC BY-SA http://2.0) / Via Flickr: dani_vazquez

What they actually do: They’re experts in Mac operating systems. Job may or may not require wearing a mask.

10.

What they actually do: Similar to a czar, but like… way more wise and peaceful? A social media guru probably knows tons of hashtags.

11.

What they actually do: Crunch numbers.

12.

What they actually do: An evangelist in a tech company is a mix of publicist, PR person, spokesperson, and social media manager in charge of spreading the good word about the company and its product. It still sounds ridiculous to us.

13.
Paul Bradbury / Caiaimage / Getty Images

What they actually do: Reception. No, really.

For more creative job titles and much more, tune in to the series premiere of Silicon Valley on April 6 at 10pm, only on HBO.

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