1. Be honest, even if people don't like what they're hearing.
2. Don't let the haters get you down.
OK, maybe grandma worded that a little differently.
3. Polka dots will always be awesome.
4. Always carry a handkerchief.
5. Look after your body — you'll thank yourself later.
6. Never buy sugar.
Just take the packets from coffee shops and make your granddaughter empty them into your sugar bowl.
7. A.B.C. = Always Be Cooking.
8. Eating your bread crust turns your hair curly.
9. Raise smart kids so they can do the hard work for you.
10. Become a master of your craft.
11. Exercise machines are out to get you — go outside!
12. Always keep a spare roast in the garage freezer.
You never know how many hungry mouths might show up.
13. Worry about living, not making a living.
14. And when in doubt, wear black.
