15 People Share The Best Advice They've Ever Gotten In Therapy
A recent Reddit thread asked, "Redditors who have had counseling/therapy, what's the most helpful tip/advice you've been given?" Here are some of the best submissions:
1. Remove the word "should" from your vocabulary as much as possible.
"I would often be so concerned with what I 'should' be doing that I couldn't enjoy anything I wanted to do. Since getting that advice I have tried to separate everything into things 'I want to do' and 'things I need to do'. It has certainly helped me enjoy things more as of late." —CaptainBoozin
2. If you can't control it, there's no point worrying about it.
"Especially when it comes to other people and what they might or might not do." —FenianCommunist
3. Stop trying to solve an irrational problem with a rational solution.
"I exhausted myself trying to fix my failed relationship by trying to fix my ex's mental illnesses by myself. Those problems were not mine to fix, and even if they were, I did not have the tools to do it." —InfernalWedgie
5. Remember that no one thinks about you as much as you think about you.
"Often I tell myself that the world is out to get me or that people don't like me. But really, that's not the case. People are far more focused on themselves. A lot of what you feel and worry about is just in your head." —saint-lux
7. Remember this: "Where I’m at right now is not who I am."
"I’m depressed and angry today, but I am not a weak person. My car and house is dirty right now, but I am not a lazy person. It has become my life mantra and has helped me let go of a lot of the judgement I, and others, place on myself." —mkhermanski
9. So many people are focused on their rights, they forget about their responsibilities.
"As marriage advice, it was helpful. As an observation on life, it is extremely relevant and explains so much." —Pjpjpjpjpj
10. You shouldn't harshly judge your current self on the basis of how your past self behaved.
"There were things you did or said that you might not be proud of but if those things were due to a lack of knowledge, insight, or experience at the time, you might want to consider the fact that as long as you've learned from them, you've genuinely repented, and your conduct is consciously better going forward, you're probably not nearly as horrible of a person as you think you are." —WifeKitty
12. Everything about you is thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
"The cognitive behavioral triangle. Your thoughts influence your feelings, your feelings influence your behaviors, your behaviors influence your feelings, your feelings influence your thoughts. They are tied together. If your feelings are messed up, you need to change how you think about things. If you can change the way you think about things in a direct and persistent way, you will change the way you feel about yourself, people and your environment, and the way you behave." —JungianPantheist
13. People do not have the right to have unlimited access to you.
"You are nobody's emotional tampon. You are not obligated to help anyone. People do not get to trick you into being their therapist. People do not get to dump their problems on you without thinking of the affect it will have on you. You are allowed to say 'no' to anyone and everyone, and they will just have to deal with it." —queen_of_queans
15. And, it is what it is.
"My wife hated me saying 'it is what it is' until I told her it was about acceptance of things I cannot change." —dose_response
Remember to always consult with your doctor about your personal health and wellness. BuzzFeed posts are for informational purposes only and are no substitute for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
By the way, if you’re feeling curious about therapy yourself, you can learn more about how to start here, since pretty much everyone can benefit from talking to a professional. For more information on free and affordable mental health care options, check out this guide.