1.
Hey hotels - enough with the lotions. We get it, you want us to jerk off.
2.
It's nice that hotels keep a bible in the room, so while you're committing sins you can check to make sure you don't miss any.
3.
I like hotels b/c their magnifying mirrors give me the opportunity to say hi to the family of skin tags developing around my eyes
4.
If you like hotels so much why don’t you marriott *rollerblades into traffic*
5.
Going to hotels strictly for the room service
6.
If hotels really wanted to boost business, they'd leave a pizza on the pillow.
7.
I think hotels set their rates based on how hard the shower is to figure out.
8.
Hotels are constantly overestimating how much ironing I plan to do.
9.
The only hotels worth staying in are the ones with free continental breakfasts.
10.
Dear hotels, Please stop putting bathroom mirrors in the worst places. Sincerely, no, I do not need a full length mirror next to the toilet
11.
"So I was walking through the hotel and I look over and see..."
12.
[hotel lobby] Sir would you like our turn down service? "Sure" Very good sir. GIRL BEHIND THE DESK: I'd rather die than go out with you
13.
Under water hotels look amazing
14.
I think hotels should be required to post a disclaimer if they don't have power outlets within easy reach of the bed.