1. DO Draw Up A Contract That Says You And Your Significant Other Cannot Touch Each Other
…and then try and abide by it.
2. DON’T Offer To Give Your Girlfriend To Your Uncle In Exchange For Hotel Ownership
She’s going to find out and you’re harsh words are gonna be had.
3. DO Have A Menage-A-Trois With Your Ex-Boyfriend And His Current Girlfriend If You Want To Get Him Back
It always works.
4. DON’T Let Your Mother Send Your Hot Teacher To Prison Because She Thinks You Slept Together
Yes, it DOES make you a bad person.
5. DON’T Model The Main Character In Your Scandalous Book After Your Girlfriend’s Past
Especially if the character is a drunk who sleeps around and does a bunch of drugs all the time.
6. DON’T Have An Affair With The Woman Who Is The Stepmother Of The Guy That Your Ex-Girlfriend Is Dating
It’s too confusing.
7. DO Sleep With Everyone In Your Friend’s “Little Black Book” To Get Over Your Ex
It’s not like there’s any other way to go about it.
8. DON’T Tell Your Girlfriend You Want To Move In Together Because You’re Afraid She’ll Get Back With Her Ex
You are just asking her to say “no.”
9. DO Team Up With Your Friend To Ask Out The Same Girl And Agree That Whoever She Chooses Gets Her As His Girlfriend
Nothing else will work, so don’t even try.
10. DON’T Fall In Love With The Girl You’re Trying To Convince To Take Back Your Best Friend
It’s just bad form.