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Which Richmond Comrade Are You?

Listen up tankies, communists, socialists, and defenders of justice! You know the fighters of the left in Richmond, but do you know which one you closely identify with? Or maybe you're completely on the opposite end of the spectrum! Either way, take this quiz to find out which cult of personality best fits you!

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  1. What is your political conviction?

    Know Your Meme
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Anarchism
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Anarcho-Scorched Earth Policy
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Anarcho-Hoxaism
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Anarcho-Communism
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Communism
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Socialism
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Columbidae-Marxism
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Trotskyism
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Classical Marxism
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Cornbread Communism
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Brian Thomas
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Democratic Socialism
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Centrism
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Neoliberalism
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Communism Revisionist
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Green Socialism
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Anti-Facism
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Anarcho-Capitalism
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Libertarianism
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Nationalism
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Capitalism
  2. You're at a hipster bar in Richmond, what do you order to eat?

    Love.in
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Cornbread
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Vegan food, meat is murder
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Vegan food, I'm not a bloodmouth
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Vegetarian food, but if that's not an option, I'll scrape off the meat
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Fruit Gushers
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Cheese and crackers
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Chicken
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I only eat at home, eating out is capitalism
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I'll have what you're having :(
    Correct
    Incorrect
    The meatiest item, screw vegetarians
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Mangos
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Bacon
  3. It's a boiling hot Richmond summer day. After marching in the streets with the comrades, you go inside, grab your Ball jar and pour a nice cold drink of....

    Fishs Eddys
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Mango Juice
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Mountain Dew
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Dr. Pepper 10
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Appalachia Moonshine
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Coke
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Pibb
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Sprite
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Secret Mountain Blend of Moonshine and Dew
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Bottled Water
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Wine
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Tears from Leftbook :(
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Tap Water
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Food Truck Drinks
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Anything with fizz
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Blood of commies
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Milk free beverages
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Beer
  4. After slurping down your drink, you go to your pet. What do you have as a pet?

    Dogtime
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Pigeon
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Rabbit
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Mountain Lion
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Golden Retriever
    Correct
    Incorrect
    My girlfriend
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Shelter pup
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Cat
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Boxer
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Snake
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Spider
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Hamster
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Great Dane
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Kangaroo
  5. You're done tending to your pet and you look at your giant poster of ___________ on the wall.

    Odyssey Online
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Mao Zedong
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Joseph Stalin
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Bernie Sanders
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Jill Stein
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Brian Thomas
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Thomas Sankara
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Hillary Clinton
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Jordan Peterson
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Steven Patrick Morrissey
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Maury Rothbard
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Pepe The Frog
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Julian Casablancas
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Malcolm X
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Posters are a waste of trees
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Qemal Cicollari
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Mountain Dew Mao Vaporwave
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Leon Trotsky
  6. After mesmerizing the poster, you get on your computer and hit the interwebs. What website do you go to first?

    Optimizley
    Correct
    Incorrect
    4chan, to /mlp/
    Correct
    Incorrect
    4chan, to /pol/
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Humane League
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Facebook, to sounds like liberal identity politics, but ok
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Facebook, to post on "wait is this a pro-communist group?"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Facebook, to post on "weird Appalachia"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Facebook, to post in "Liberate RVA Kalposting"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Clickhole
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Facebook, to share the dankest tankie article you found online
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Facebook, to proceed to "sad" react to everything
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Tumblr
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Reddit, to the /r/sports subreddits
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Twitter
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Medium
    Correct
    Incorrect
    9GAG
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Facebook, to read "Cornbread Communism"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Pixlr, to make memes for the VCU meme group
  7. You're online and you see your political opponent! What do you do?

    Diffen
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Hmm? All my enemies are blocked.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I'll discourse, but it's tiring. So I just block and dox them at this point.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Leftbook brings me down too much to fight the oppressors in cyberspace :(
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Point out their racial biases and go "kthx :-*"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Troll them until they start crying or going full caps lock.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Subtly find someone else to comment in a flame war and like the good guy's comments.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Don't engage
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Share with the Kalposting group
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Go full force CAPS LOCK ANGRY at them.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I'll use facts and history, if they're just a liberal.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I'll engage in a civil discourse in the hope that they will change my mind or acknowledge my points of view.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Call them an "SJW xD" and then ask if they're triggered XD
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Get as ableist as possible.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Say some racial slurs and claim it to be "free speech".
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Stand my ground but debate to a certain extent.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I don't have time for that shit, i'll take it to the streets.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I don't have time for that shit, but I'll take it to them online and I.R.L.
  8. You go outside the next day and you are walking down the street and you see your rival IRL. How do you handle this situation?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Run 'em over with my red hammer and sickle plastered tractor!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Talk to them if need be, but try to hurry it up. If it gets tense use some self defense.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Could shoulder them and if they say something say "fuck off :("
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Ignore them.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Speak with them and give them backhanded compliments.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Deploy my pigeon to take a number two on them.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Get a hockey stick and puck and whack away!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Yell at them in their face and call them out for their bullshit.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Call up my crew for a showdown.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    git yer rifles ready'uns
    Correct
    Incorrect
    What? I have no enemies!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Probably shy away because I'm a shy guy.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Waver my advertisements to my next Liberate RVA meeting.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Quickly hide my confederate flag in my backpack.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Roll my eyes and try to avoid political talk.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Clock them. Until they have a nosebleed.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Put on your masks and call Comrade Jeb!
  9. After you finish up with your rival, you see a white, cismale, swirly mustache hipster with a bernie sticker on his tricked out bike. How do you react to him?

    WacoBB
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Roll your eyes
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Roll your eyes and say "Bernie is a centrist"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Frown :(
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Shrug and say "Bernie is a reformist"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Sigh and say to yourself "what could have been"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Have a blank expression
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Roll your eyes and call him a "nice capitalist"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Roll your eyes and call him an "opportunist"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Shrug and say he's a "left wing fascist"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Scream "he killed Rosa Luxemburg!"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Say "he would have beaten Trump!"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Say "I felt the Bern until Hillary won fair and square!"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Scream "he's an economically-illiterate communist!"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Scream "he's an anti-white deceptive Jew!"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Shrug and go "yeah he eats chicken, but he would have taken it to the meat industry"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Scream "he's a state capitalist!" And set his car on fire
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Ask him if he's a comrade now.
  10. You get a call from Dad concerned about your recent online activity. How do you respond?

    dreamstime.com
    Correct
    Incorrect
    My parents don't know of my Facebook account.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Blocked them so this didn't happen.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Just shitposting, Dad :(
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Get over it.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    When did you get a Facebook?
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Sigh and just say "ok"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Tell your Dad it's just a joke and to lighten up.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Switch the subject.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Ignore the phone call.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Talk about how necessary it is.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    My dad would never!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    My dad doesn't know how to computer!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Remind your dad that Che Guevara is evil.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Tell you dad it's what the cool kids do.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Tell your dad it's what I am and you cannot tell me how to live my life.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Threaten to beat your dad.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Tell your dad that he's dreaming.
  11. The weekend is here and it's time to watch some sports on TV or at the stadium! What sport do you watch?

    Alexedmans.com
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Football but complain about the bravado nature of the game.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    None. I will abolish sports.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I don't with sports :(
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I'll play a sport, but not watch it.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Soccer
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Extreme Ironing or maybe some Rowing
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Ice Hockey
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Basketball
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Demolition Derby
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Baseball
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Tennis
    Correct
    Incorrect
    None, I'm not athletic.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Poker
    Correct
    Incorrect
    NASCAR
  12. Quick! White nationalists are marching on Monument Avenue, because Mayor Stoney has flirted with the idea of removing the General Lee Statue! How do you react to this?!

    Huffington Post Canada
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Git yer rifles out
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Bring my antifa crew and brawl
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Bring my antifa crew, brawl, and then write about it on leftbook :(
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Call all members of ASH, RS, BLM, DSA, etc. to counterprotest.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Witness the scene and join the good guys when called to duty.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Bring a sign and scream back at them.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Bring a sign and sock one of them.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Yell at them and scream at them and trigger them.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Compare them to the KKK and doxx every last one of them.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Surround them until they surrender.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Interview them in the hopes of getting more YouTube subscribers.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Continue to protest with the people defending m'Southern Heritage!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Doxx, punch, beat and torch every last one of 'em. Proceed to spray pain the statue.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Cover your face and brawl.
  13. After the protests calm down, you go to bed, but you wake up from a bad dream at 3:13 a.m.! What happened in the dream?

    Shuterstock
    Correct
    Incorrect
    The bourgeoisie took all the cornbread
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Aaron Tabb became president
    Correct
    Incorrect
    You discovered someone made an account for you on Leftbook :(
    Correct
    Incorrect
    The Richmond GPUSA asked you to run a joint ticket with Montigue
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Photoshop crashed in the middle of meme construction
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Your bird got hit bit a windmill
    Correct
    Incorrect
    The Capitals made the Stanley Cup Finals and got swept
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Someone drank the Mountain Dew and its gone
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Derrick Davis reproduced
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Harrisonburg Democrats endorse Hillary 2020
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Tribal politics hits a new extreme
    Correct
    Incorrect
    You're forced to say "they/them" as pronouns
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Bandito's got homsteaded
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Donald Trump was shot
    Correct
    Incorrect
    You were eating bacon
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Peaceful protests with police escorts
    Correct
    Incorrect
    You got banned from "Wait, is this a pro-communist group?"
  14. It's Election Day 2017! Who do you vote for, for Governor?

    Know Your Meme
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I didn't vote, because electoral politics do not bring cheap. Reformist policies are inferior to Revolutionist policies
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I didn't vote, electoral politics might only have small effect on the local level, but that's about it
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Gumby
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Rebecca Keel
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Tom Perrellio
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Write in Julian Casablancas
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Matthew Delicate
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Bill Bridgforth
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I didn't vote, electoral politics are murderous
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Bob Avakian
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Ed Gillespie
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Ralph Northam
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Voting is slavery to the state, and immoral
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Corey Stewart
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Maybe the Green or Democrat, I don't know yet
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Voting is slavery to the bourgeoisie
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Bradley Thormann
  15. A crazy man and his pal are filming you and your buddies at Abner Clay Park! Yipes! What do you do to stop the situation?

    Liberty.me
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Laugh at him
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Talk to him, but ask him to put the camera away
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Flip him off
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Throw his camera on the ground
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Talk to him, but force him to talk about "genital mutilation"
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Walk away from him
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Put your hand over the camera
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Yell at him and call him out on his crap
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Call him a white supremacist
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Put carboard over the camera
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Give him a hug and have a discussion with him
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Make fun of communists
    Correct
    Incorrect
    What a handsome man!
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Tell him that minorities are too dumb to participate in the free market and that Trump is bae
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Humor him, but look annoyed the whole time
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Sucker punch him and have your friends go for the legs
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Do everything you can in your capacity to break NAP
  16. After leaving the park, you see Young Americans for Liberty infiltrating the VCU campus, how do you handle their situation!

    Young Americans for Liberty
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Smash every last one of their signs and doxx them on the Internet
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Laugh at them and then smash their signs
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Frown at them and then smash their signs
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Yell at them and then smash their signs
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Set their stand on fire and then smash their signs
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Smash their signs and then give them cards for Richmond Struggle
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Laugh at them and make one of them cry
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Ignore them if alone, smash their shit if you have friends
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Tell them you're not really libertarian by being statist defender
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Hi-five them
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Have a discussion and become their friend, although you may disagree with their convictions
  17. Michael Rao is suffering a bad inferiority complex and demands a raise in his salary. How do you respond?

    Richmond BizSense
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Egg his house
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Tar and feather him
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Stage a protest outside his house
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Urge the BOV not to raise, but to cut his salary
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Shrug and say that's the free market at work
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Throw Mello Yello at him
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Infiltrate his office
    Correct
    Incorrect
    I don't even go there
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Rents pay, don't care
  18. You find yourself in control of America's Armed Forces. Your first order of business is to...

    The Balance
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Cut funding by 40 percent, and redistribute the funding to social programs.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Cut funding by 70 percent and emphasize spending on infrastructure and welfare. Cancel military aid to Israel
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Order them to stage a coup against Donald Trump and install a Communist regime in the States
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Abolish the military and send soldiers and police into labor camps.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Cut funding by 70 percent, remove foreign bases, and cancel military aid to Israel in favor of Palestine.
    Correct
    Incorrect