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Listen up tankies, communists, socialists, and defenders of justice! You know the fighters of the left in Richmond, but do you know which one you closely identify with? Or maybe you're completely on the opposite end of the spectrum! Either way, take this quiz to find out which cult of personality best fits you!

Which Richmond Comrade Are You?

What is your political conviction?

You're at a hipster bar in Richmond, what do you order to eat?

It's a boiling hot Richmond summer day. After marching in the streets with the comrades, you go inside, grab your Ball jar and pour a nice cold drink of....

After slurping down your drink, you go to your pet. What do you have as a pet?

You're done tending to your pet and you look at your giant poster of \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ on the wall.

After mesmerizing the poster, you get on your computer and hit the interwebs. What website do you go to first?

You're online and you see your political opponent! What do you do?

You go outside the next day and you are walking down the street and you see your rival IRL. How do you handle this situation?

After you finish up with your rival, you see a white, cismale, swirly mustache hipster with a bernie sticker on his tricked out bike. How do you react to him?

You get a call from Dad concerned about your recent online activity. How do you respond?

The weekend is here and it's time to watch some sports on TV or at the stadium! What sport do you watch?

Quick! White nationalists are marching on Monument Avenue, because Mayor Stoney has flirted with the idea of removing the General Lee Statue! How do you react to this?!

After the protests calm down, you go to bed, but you wake up from a bad dream at 3:13 a.m.! What happened in the dream?

It's Election Day 2017! Who do you vote for, for Governor?

A crazy man and his pal are filming you and your buddies at Abner Clay Park! Yipes! What do you do to stop the situation?

After leaving the park, you see Young Americans for Liberty infiltrating the VCU campus, how do you handle their situation!

Michael Rao is suffering a bad inferiority complex and demands a raise in his salary. How do you respond?

You find yourself in control of America's Armed Forces. Your first order of business is to...

You grew up in America, and you have qualms about America. What nation would you aspire the U.S. to be like?

After military changes and changing the face of America, you order some food and you pay a tip in...

Good un! Yer answers got the cult of personality amongst RVA and Appalachia's left: Bradley Thormann! You have been around the block long enough to understand the notions of each sect of communism and socialism to know how to unite and fight, additionally, you like a sprinkle of Zehrism here and there. You are willing to take the revolution to the streets and put your body on the line to defend the working class. You hate cops, and you love cornbread. In fact, the only place you wanna see a cop car is a demolition derby!

Comrade Thormann

Well hey there! You're Kris Seress. A.K.A. an anarcho-communist that abides to principles of ancom thought and Marxism. You think Trotskyists are burnt out comrades, and you believe violence is a necessary tool to overthrow the bourgeoisie. You support electoral politics in a limited realm, but are doubtful of it having any impact beyond local levels. Above all else you think revolutionary politics are the proper catalyst to ignite change. Don't vote, fight! Also, abolish sports!

Comrade Seress

Oh man! :-( You're Comrade Makhno :-(, the shitposter of the far left, defender of Anarcho-Hoxaism, lover of Mao, hater of Trotsky, and a tankie in the eyes of Comrade Centrist, Tyler. Just like her, you enjoy sad reacting to every post, and but won't hesitate to crack a smile when you see a silly liberal doing liberalish things. Keep on frowning!

Comrade Makhno

Anti-capitalism and green politics are your calling Mx. Levi! You're the online sib of your loving, yet centrist ciswhite shitposting pal, Comrade Tyler. However, you are more progressive and left-leaning in your convictions than he is! You have a soft spot for the Green Party of the United States, but hold true to anti-capitalism, as you know it to be a mechanism to perpetuate racism!

Comrade Levi

Fugggg :DDDD You got Comrade Tyler! You in the past were basically the left-wing coalition of Tabbism, though lately you have drifted away from Centrism to Socialism/Democratic Socialism, depending on how your mood that day. You're not exactly fond of violence, although you understand it's need, and find safety in smugly mocking the far left and far right, although truly you want to piss off the far right more, and drink their jars of tears when you say "free Palestine." Happy shitposting!

Comrade Tyler

Get on your nitrite gloves and let's go flying with the pigeons, as you are Comrade Pryor! A lover of birds, puns, and an admirer of Marx, and a defender of student rights, you have strong skepticism of the free market, and are willing to go through great lengths to kill off capitalism. Or should we say...crapitalism!

Comrade Pryor

Is communism great, but Seressian revisionism of anti-sports too much for you? Then you might just be Comrade Campbell! You aren't sure what irks you more: the Caps losing in the second round of the NHL Playoffs at the expense of the Pens year after year, or the fact that the United States still clangs on to late-stage capitalism. Regardless, you will still go to the Kickers soccer game next weekend after a Richmond Struggle meeting.

Comrade Campbell

The Goad Gatsby. Lover of MOUTAIN DEW OMG MOUNTAIN DEW AND MONSTER ARE SOAMAAZZZGINNNGGHHHHHNNNNGGGG KJNEUNKJNVOWNVJEFNKJN BGKJDSHGKJGDSGJDSKL DJGJLDSJGKLSDJGLSKD!!!!!!!!! KAL LITERALLY BREEDS WHITE SUPREMAJHJSJFNKJNFKJNW!!!!!!!  
...I need more Mountain Dew! Pronto!

Comrade Goad

To some you're just seen as another communist, but in your circles you are seen an individual willing to grab white ignorance by the throat until the oppressor coughs up a lung. Your revisionism to communism explicitly expresses more communism to be spread amongst modern day America's working class.

Comrade Steph

So, well, you're basically Bradley Thormann's brand of cornbread communism, but you enjoy some Trotskyism here and there. You both fight and discourse and enjoy a good bit of mountain music.

Comrade Zehr

It doesn't get more square in the middle than this, as you are Aaron Tabb! You believe in civil discourse is the main driver for change, and are a pacifist when it comes to violence within protest. While you have admiration to social democracy, you generally support aspects of capitalism, but want to adopt a more inclusive model of the current system. You acknowledge systemic racism, but are willing to dialogue with those who may be racially biased. Deep down you believe sects of the left and right together can triangulate the best possible system.

Comrade Tabb

Say hello to neoliberalism and goodbye to fash! It's Ankur that fits your type! Generally speaking, you support the Democratic Party, regardless of their convictions that might fall out of line. You see neoliberalism as a necessary tool in certain contexts, and nothing irks you more than the progressive wing's desire to be politically correct. You will go as far as calling them "SJW's xD". You also enjoy a good evening of some Bill Maher, but throw off some people by liking Bernie Sanders.

Comrade Bhaskar

Well damn, you're quite the edgelord there! You're Kal Molinet! You have a deep lust for bitcoin, filming communists, getting YouTube followings and the NAP! You may feel ancap, but deep down you have a soft spot for the GOP. Taxation is theft, and I'm Bolivian, not white!

Kal Molinet

Oh man, you sure hate black people! You got Derrick! You believe in an ethno-nationalist state, and somehow still clang on to the notion that white people are superior to their counterparts. You have a deep admiration for Jesus, pepe the frog, and a sexy fedora. Above all else, you think m'ladies...m'singination is a sin!

Derrick Davis

Are you a liberal but are fed up with Tabb's centrism, Tyler's socialism and Ankur's Maherism? Then you fit in the mold of Comrade Hager! Lover of peace and animals, you're a peacekeeper that will listen to all points of views, but are willing to slam the breaks on obscure ideologies, left and right instead of throwing kerosene on the fire. You also are a vegan. Meat is murder!

Comrade Hager

You hate existence in general, and you just want humanity to end! That's right, you're Comrade Hunter! You want to doxx the right just for the sake of it, shitpost in obscure Facebook groups and set shit on fire! Pick fights with the enemy is your game, and your biggest war is overpopulation! Get your brass knuckles ready!

Comrade Hunter

A similar comrade to the likes of Thormann, Seress, Schapper and Zehr, you are the antifa himself, Comrade Reedy. You are generally a pacifist in nature, but you see the need for a class war in order to reap true equality. You also enjoy a fine stash of left-wing memes you've saved into your jump drive.

Comrade Reedy

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Which Richmond Comrade Are You?

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