1. Because you don’t ever have to worry about causing a traffic jam of this proportion.
2. Because “neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night” will get in the way of you getting your mail. Nor will missing tires.
3. Because they’re just like us and harbor fantasies of being the next American Idol.
4. Because, even though your mailbox is usually full of bills, bills, bills, it isn’t right to shoot the messenger. Amiright Bey?
5. Because they provide stability to latchkey children everywhere.
6. Because they know how to utilize man’s best friend to get sh*t done.
7. Because they can help you decide what to wear in the morning.
8. Because they care about public safety.
9. Because, despite not always being the warmest, most friendly people, they still show up everyday.
10. Because the United States Postal Service found - and retained - Santa.
