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When I first read Kim Brophey’s Meet Your Dog, I immediately began comparing her groups of dog breeds to my favorite frame of reference - lesbians! You can answer these questions about yourself, or about another lesbian. There are 10 types in all. Which are you?

Which type of dog is your favorite lesbian?

Would you describe her as outdoorsy?

How much control does she need to be happy?

**The Dog:** these dogs are self-sufficient and love to spend time roaming outdoors. Some of the oldest dog breeds, their job is to survive rather than angle for a specific, designated job.  
  
  
**The Lesbian:** wild and free, she’s a classic hippy. Probably 420 friendly and has a specific diet she follows, commonly veganism. If she doesn’t homestead already, that’s her dream for the future. She feels the call to escape modern society and the drudgery of specialized jobs. If you’re crushing on a Natural Dog type, suggest a hiking or camping trip, or go to a farmer’s market. Allow her to take you on an escape, sans technology.

Some members of the Natural Dog Group: a Shiba Inu, Siberian Husky, Akita, Shar-Pei and Samoyed

Natural Dog

**The Dog:** sighthounds are built for quick sprints and lazing around a castle as quiet, reserved and dignified status symbols. Elegant but brittle, they aren’t excessively active and are fairly independent. If they see a prey animal, though, watch out - they can be gone in the blink of an eye.  
  
  
**The Lesbian:** she’s regal. The quintessential Sight Hound lesbian is a high femme, but she doesn’t have to be. Don’t expect her to come along on any Natural Dog-type excursions without some creature comforts and a bit of complaining. She enjoys the finer things in life, and she enjoys them at her own pace. But when something gives her reason to sprint into action - the chance at a great sale or exciting opportunity, for example - she can be surprisingly swift. If your girl is a Sight Hound, she might enjoy a relaxing dinner or a spa visit. Really any chance to get pampered. Just make sure to give her plenty of time to get ready.

Some members of the Sight Hound group: Italian Greyhound, Whippet, Irish Wolfhound, Borzoi and Afghan Hound

Sight Hound

**The Dog:** BIG. As implied by the name, Guardian dogs were chosen to guard livestock. So they’re big, bulky, and intimidating - but lack the instinct to chomp on their charges.  
  
  
**The Lesbian:** the strong silent butch with a heart of gold. Despite her tough and imposing exterior, she’s a total softie. She’s generally laid-back, but her protective and suspicious nature mean she’s ready to step in when and if she’s needed. Physical confrontation may not even be needed; a stern look from a Guardian type can cause an aggressor to back down. If you’re interested in a Guardian lesbian, let her know you appreciate her having your back. For a great date night, let her be “off-duty” - make sure she feels safe and comfortable, and give her space to open up to you.

Some members of the Guardian dog group: Bernese Mountain Dog, Great Dane, Cane Corso, Newfoundland, St. Bernard

Guardian

**The Dog:** the toy dog’s job is companionship. You (and your attention) are their goal. They love to go everywhere with you, and can be very attached to their chosen person or people.  
**The Lesbian:** she loves love! if she’s single, she’s constantly posting on her social media of choice hoping to get some attention and affection. If she’s taken, she is stuck to her woman like glue. She’s the kind of girl who says “I don’t care what we do, as long as it’s together” and means it. Ideal dates for this type can be anything - as long as you are devoting your full attention to her. If you’re on a date with a Toy Dog lesbian, resist the urge to look at your phone if things get slow. Let her know you only have eyes for her.

Some members of the Toy Dog group: Havanese, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Pomeranian, Shih Tzu, Pug

Toy Dog

**The Dog:** these dogs are known for their vocals. They can easily be distracted by a scent and when they’re onto one, they will tell you about it with loud howling and barking. Impulse control can be difficult for them, and they tend to display their emotions very openly.  
  
  
**The Lesbian:** so the drama. This lesbian is loud, has a lot of feelings, and will let you know about it. She may be an artsy type, particularly a theater nerd. If you’re with a Scent Hound lesbian, let her know you hear her. Sometimes the way she expresses her feelings is dramatic, but it’s only because she really does feel things deeply. A nice date for her would be a fair or expo of some kind where she can follow her whims and see where they lead. You never know what you’ll find when you’re out with a Scent Hound.

Some members of the Scent Hound group: Basset Hound, Beagle, Bloodhound, Black and Tan Coonhound, and Blue Tick Coonhound

Scent Hound

**The Dog:** these dogs are active and outgoing. They’re cooperative, joyful and love physical activity. They’re also known for their oral fixation - they have to retrieve, after all!  
  
  
**The Lesbian:** this is your quintessential snapback lesbian. She’s a great time, loves games and parties, and might even genuinely enjoy watching football. Definitely not the brooding type, you may find that a Gun Dog girl will be able to work out her feelings better in a pick-up game of whatever-ball than in quiet reflection. An ideal date for her involves something active, usually outdoors, maybe with beers and bros. It doesn’t take anything fancy to impress her, as long as you can flow with her up-for-anything attitude. And if you can indulge her oral fixation - even better!

Some members of the Gun Dog group: Golden Retriever, Labrador Retriever, Standard Poodle, German Shorthair Pointer, English Springer Spaniel

Gun Dog

**The Dog:** terriers can be seriously one-track-minded. They’re bred for finding and killing critters, and they’ve got a lot of drive and energy to do just that.  
**The Lesbian:** she’s got a passion and she is VERY intense about it. Does your girl wake up before 6am on the weekends to work out? Yeah, that’s a Terrier type. Frequently, this passion is a sport she loves, but it could be a wide variety of things. If she’s Rachel-Berry-intense about something, my first piece of advice is to know what you’re in for and accept it. Don’t think you’re going to pull the Terrier type away from her passion. But just because she’s so focused on it, doesn’t mean she loves you any less. A good date for a Terrier type would involve you encouraging or participating in her passion, whatever that may be - going to her games, working out with her, and generally respecting that ball is life.

Some members of the Terrier dog group: Miniature Schnauzer, Yorkshire Terrier, West Highland Terrier, Scottish Terrier, and Wheaten Terriers

Terrier

**The Dog:** they generally look like hulking masses of muscle, but their owners can attest that they’re sweet, playful and some of the funniest dogs you’ll meet. When they go all-in, they go ALL-in, and they can be adrenaline junkies. Everything is a contact sport to them.  
  
  
**The Lesbian:** does her laugh travel across any open space? She’s probably a Bull Dog lesbian. I’d be remiss not to mention the phrase “bull dyke” here - and in fact, that’s a pretty good image of a Bull Dog lesbian. She’s playful, she’s funny, and when she commits, she commits hard. She is who she is, and she does not hide or change for anybody. She will always be true to herself and will say what she means and mean what she says. A relationship with a Bull Dog type requires honesty and the ability to deal with her bluntness. But if you want to know what she’d like to do for a date, just ask - she’ll tell you plainly.

Some members of the Bull Dog group: American Bulldog, French Bulldog, Boxer, Bullmastiff, and Bull Terrier

Bull Dog

**The Dog:** these dogs are always on. They were designed for the constant work of shepherding animals - keeping track of them, anticipating their actions, and working in tandem with the human shepherd. They are highly concerned with patterns and protocols. If something violates either one, they will certainly notice and do their best to get it back in line.  
  
  
**The Lesbian:** she can be exhausting in her level of overthinking, and she LOVES to process. She wants everything, including your relationship, working like a well-oiled machine. But her attention to detail isn’t all bad - she’s incredibly thoughtful, and usually a great gift-giver. When it comes to dates, she’s not generally a fan of surprises. She prefers structure and solid planning. While she’s not one to give all the control over, she’ll appreciate it if you take the time to understand her plans and share some of the mental load.

Some members of the Herding Dog group: Pembroke Welsh Corgi, German Shepherd, Australian Shepherd, Shetland Sheepdog, and Border Collie

Herding Dog

**The Dog:** practical and worldly, these dogs are opportunists adapted to modern life. They don’t fit easily into a specific box, as they were not intentionally created by humans for a sole purpose.  
  
  
**The Lesbian:** you might call her a “chapstick lesbian.” She’s something of a chameleon who can blend into a wide variety of lesbian social spheres. While these types can be pretty hard to pin down, their main keywords are pragmatic and practical. There are no guarantees with this type, but no extremes either - if you suggest a reasonable idea, she’ll give you a reasonable response. So don’t overthink date ideas with this one. Dinner and a movie can actually be perfect!

Some members of the World Dog group: dogs of mixed breeds

World Dog

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Which type of dog is your favorite lesbian?

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