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11 Ways To Buy Your Child's Love This Holiday

How’d those matching sweaters you got them last year work out? GameStop is here for you.

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1. BAM! ZIP! POW! This intense Batman collectible will have Asher mumbling "thanks" before he disappears into his room with the door closed for several hours!!

He loves the toy. He just wants to play with it alone.

He loves the toy. He just wants to play with it alone.

2. You remember when Legend of Zelda was just a text-based top-down dungeon crawl. You don't recognize the Link of Cole's generation, with his masks and his fancy spin moves.

Link didn't even have a watch. Navi told him what time it was.

Link didn't even have a watch. Navi told him what time it was.

3. This looks nothing like a pelican. Clearly you are missing something. Anyway, get it for Jaden and he'll look up from his phone when you speak to him...for like a week.

One week. Tops.

One week. Tops.

4. Fallout 4, huh? Seems to you that if you're playing a tabletop game after living through three previous fallouts, you're probably a cockroach. But Dalton will sit still for it, so...

*Sigh*

*Sigh*

5. Remember how little Harper's face used to light up whenever you walked into a room? Give her this Vault Boy replica and she'll acknowledge your existence, which is sort of the same.

Just take what you can get, man. Take what you can get.

Just take what you can get, man. Take what you can get.

6. The big guns. There's no way you can go wrong with an Xbox Elite bundle. The thing looks like a damn sports car. Actual human interaction with Diego, here we come!

You're still not allowed to go in his room, though. No way.

You're still not allowed to go in his room, though. No way.

7. When Kacey says the "look sensitivity" is more customizable on the "D pad," which helps her "grind" faster in "MMORPGs," just remember that her GPA is good and she didn't get her eyebrow pierced.

"OK, but 'grind' is not some sort of dirty dancing, right? Right, Kacey?!"

"OK, but 'grind' is not some sort of dirty dancing, right? Right, Kacey?!"

8. Make a joke like "Alyssa, I am your father" in your best Vader voice when she opens this. You might get more than an eyeroll. Maybe.

Look, there's definitely no guarantee. We're just saying it's possible.

Look, there's definitely no guarantee. We're just saying it's possible.

9. When you had the gall to suggest that Parker play with blocks, he looked at you like you were crazy. Now he puts this Minecraft light on his Christmas list? Whatever, just get it for him.

"Is this not a block? Because this looks like a block, Parker."

"Is this not a block? Because this looks like a block, Parker."

10. At least you can play this version with Chelsea. When you tried to play the Halo video game you accidentally threw a grenade at her and she didn't talk to you for three days.

Right trigger shoots. Left trigger makes Chelsea storm out of the room.

Right trigger shoots. Left trigger makes Chelsea storm out of the room.

11. Nothing bonds the generations like Star Wars. If by "bonds" you mean you get to watch Bryson play it for a full 30 minutes before he peevishly asks you to leave the room.

But God help you, you love that lil' ingrate anyway.

But God help you, you love that lil' ingrate anyway.

All images courtesy of GameStop

GameStop has the gifts that'll make them love you forever. Do not blow this. #JoyToThePlayers