AND THE GOLDEN VAGINA GOES TO GWYNETH PALTROW

Gwyneth you win. The Vagina Oscar once again goes to you. I thought your law suit permeable Vagina Egg would be the perpetual winner of this award but babe I gotta hand it to you as topping yourself was no small feat or vagina.

Thank you Madame Paltrow for now bringing us a candle that smells like that part of your female anatomy. Yummmm and will it ultimately be available in personalized fragrances?

It’s $75.00 and a must-have stocking stuffer or party favor so save up. The smell of her vagina wafting through the air might just make people re-think climate change.

I love the name, “This Smells Like My Vagina,” and aren’t you just a little curious how she knows that? I find it’s literal meaning slightly disturbing and would have preferred something more metaphorical like “I love the smell of my Goldfish bowl in the morning.”

The search for a new perfume according to the company lead to this most intimate of discoveries. It evolved from “a funny, gorgeous, sexy, and beautifully unexpected scent which turned out to be perfect as a candle.” Really? Here’s the most fun part, the smell is described as a blend of geranium, citrusy bergamot, cedar absolutes juxtaposed with Damask rose and ambrette seed. Call me if that turned you on. It made me apologize to my Geraniums.

If I was in the mood to be seduced or have sex it’s been ruined, possibly forever.

I think the ultimate endorsement must come from Oprah the consummate expert on what every woman must have to radiate inner wisdom and experience personal growth. Or maybe Martha Stewart as a back-up to assure us it would a great scent for that next dinner party.

As for myself, I feel the need to call an exorcist to forget I ever read about this.