11 Fighting Moves For The Fight You'll Probably Never Have

You probably won't — and definitely shouldn't — get into a fight. But if you ever did, these moves could help. Better play it safe and just watch Fist Fight, in theaters February 17.

1. Overhead Axe Chop

PROS: high amount of damage, looks super intimidating

CONS: provides opponent plenty of time to run away, potential for setting off a fire alarm while trying to pull the axe out of the wall by the fire extinguisher

2. Butterfly Knife Slice

PROS: light and easy to hide, makes you look like you've done this before

CONS: Unlike Christina Hendricks above, you probably haven't done this before, and you'll probably slice your hand open trying to do some stupid butterfly knife tricks.

3. Old-Fashioned Fisticuffs

PROS: still looks kinda cool after all these years

CONS: Unless your opponent was born in 1853, they'll probably defeat you.

4. Solar Plexus Punch

PROS: stuns your opponent, giving you time for your next move

CONS: will scare Charlie Day if he's nearby

5. The Nut Punch

PROS: stuns your opponent just like the solar plexus punch, is very funny all of the time

CONS: really only works on 50% of the population

6. Round Up The Squad

PROS: more people = more fists = more power!

CONS: difficult to convince everyone else to get into a fight

7. Tie Opponent to a Horse and Let That Horse Do Its Thing

PROS: horse is very strong and unlikely to yield if your opponent screams

CONS: difficult to tie your opponent to the horse, horse might not do anything but stand there — stupid horse

8. Hit Opponent With a Paint Gun

PROS: could blind opponent, which makes them look stupid

CONS: hard to set up, doesn't really do much damage, and you're already doing the horse thing, which is pretty hilarious

9. Smoke a Little Something Before the Fight

PROS: will increase your bravery and resolve

CONS: increased chance of punching at hallucinations

10. Launch Opponent Into Car Window

PROS: high amount of damage, looks cool as hell

CONS: You're going through that car window too, buddy.

11. Get Opponent Arrested

All images courtesy of Village Roadshow Pictures

PROS: completely ends the fight, as your opponent is in jail

CONS: takes a while for cops to show up after dialing 911, a chance you'll get arrested too since you were just in a fight

Watch Ice Cube and Charlie Day duke it out with all these moves and more in Fist Fight, in theaters February 17.

All images courtesy of Village Roadshow Pictures