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11 Fighting Moves For The Fight You'll Probably Never Have

You probably won't — and definitely shouldn't — get into a fight. But if you ever did, these moves could help. Better play it safe and just watch Fist Fight, in theaters February 17.

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1. Overhead Axe Chop

PROS: high amount of damage, looks super intimidating

CONS: provides opponent plenty of time to run away, potential for setting off a fire alarm while trying to pull the axe out of the wall by the fire extinguisher

2. Butterfly Knife Slice

PROS: light and easy to hide, makes you look like you've done this before

CONS: Unlike Christina Hendricks above, you probably haven't done this before, and you'll probably slice your hand open trying to do some stupid butterfly knife tricks.

3. Old-Fashioned Fisticuffs

PROS: still looks kinda cool after all these years

CONS: Unless your opponent was born in 1853, they'll probably defeat you.

4. Solar Plexus Punch

PROS: stuns your opponent, giving you time for your next move

CONS: will scare Charlie Day if he's nearby

5. The Nut Punch

PROS: stuns your opponent just like the solar plexus punch, is very funny all of the time

CONS: really only works on 50% of the population

6. Round Up The Squad

PROS: more people = more fists = more power!

CONS: difficult to convince everyone else to get into a fight

7. Tie Opponent to a Horse and Let That Horse Do Its Thing

PROS: horse is very strong and unlikely to yield if your opponent screams

CONS: difficult to tie your opponent to the horse, horse might not do anything but stand there — stupid horse

8. Hit Opponent With a Paint Gun

PROS: could blind opponent, which makes them look stupid

CONS: hard to set up, doesn't really do much damage, and you're already doing the horse thing, which is pretty hilarious

9. Smoke a Little Something Before the Fight

PROS: will increase your bravery and resolve

CONS: increased chance of punching at hallucinations

10. Launch Opponent Into Car Window

PROS: high amount of damage, looks cool as hell

CONS: You're going through that car window too, buddy.

11. Get Opponent Arrested

All images courtesy of Village Roadshow Pictures

PROS: completely ends the fight, as your opponent is in jail

CONS: takes a while for cops to show up after dialing 911, a chance you'll get arrested too since you were just in a fight

Watch Ice Cube and Charlie Day duke it out with all these moves and more in Fist Fight, in theaters February 17.

View this video on YouTube

All images courtesy of Village Roadshow Pictures