I wholeheartedly admit that I am a sensitive, emotional person. In the past, I'd jokingly blame it on being a Scorpio, but as I've gotten older, I've stopped making jokes about it and have come to terms with these traits being a big part of my personality.
With that being said, I do get overwhelmed easily by my emotions, and sometimes it can feel hard to process them all individually — depending on what's going on in my life at that exact moment. Going to therapy has certainly helped me compartmentalize my emotions, but I'm still a human, and I have my days!
During a recent scroll on social media, I saw the phrase "emotional flooding" being thrown around, and I immediately felt seen without even knowing exactly what it meant.
According to Franny Hogi, relationship expert and advisor at Peoplehood, "Emotional flooding is what happens when your emotions become so overwhelming they hijack your [sympathetic] nervous system."
Franny elaborated by saying, "Think of that moment in the movie when, in distress, the hero goes into an emotionally altered state when all the noise fades into the background, and all they can hear is the sound of their own heartbeat and jagged breath."
"When emotional flooding happens, the temporary flood of emotions is too much for your body to handle in a relaxed or logical state. In response to an emotionally triggering experience, your body's fight or flight response is activated," Franny told BuzzFeed. When this happens, emotions can feel out of control, and it can even sometimes lead to an anxiety attack.
Gail Saltz, associate professor of psychiatry at the NY Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine and host of the “How Can I Help?” podcast, added, "The emotions in question can vary — fear, anxiety, anger, shame, disgust, panic and often in the moment someone does not know they are having this flooding because their intense emotional state impairs their ability to reflect on what’s occurring internally."
Symptoms often include shortness of breath, clenched muscles, racing thoughts, and even an inability to hear someone speaking directly to you, according to Franny.
It's important to know that everyone has or will experience emotional flooding at some point, and how people handle it, can affect both romantic and platonic relationships. "Both the person who flies off the handle and behaves destructively and the person who shuts down, unable to engage, are facing a challenge with emotional regulation," she added.
"Ideally, if a person recognizes they are emotionally consumed by terrible feelings, they would simply say to themselves or whoever they are interacting with that they need to take a moment, they need a time out, and step away and allow the emotional wave to subside before doing anything," added Saltz.
Reflecting on how you react to emotional flooding while you're calm and thinking clearly is key. "Know your triggers and create a plan to handle rising emotions before they overwhelm you. Once you feel the overwhelm rising up, breathe. Your mind might tell you breathing can't help, but that'll be the emotional flooding speaking," Franny told BuzzFeed.
"The truth is, intentional breathing activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which takes you out of fight or flight into reset and relax," Franny said.
"I recommend everyone experiment with a deep breathing practice to have at the ready. Box breathing is a very easy, quick, and powerful technique that provides immediate relief from stress and overwhelm. It's a great one to have in your life tool box," explained Franny.
Since no one is immune to experiencing emotional flooding, there are some things you can do to regulate your emotions and help prevent getting easily overwhelmed. "An overall commitment to rest, movement, maintaining boundaries, nourishing yourself, and spending time in safe emotional spaces," advised Franny.
"Self-love is a practice of honoring your relationship with you. Kinder self-talk can go a long way to helping your emotional state and investing in emotionally safe relationships with people who model good emotional self-regulation," she said.
If you feel like you are still struggling to handle your emotions, consult with a professional. Therapy can be truly life-changing. "Therapy can help people understand what is going on in their minds that is triggering it [emotional flooding]. Do they have past trauma? Working that through will help. Also, learning what their triggers are, how to tell they are on the way up, when to take a time out, and methods of derailing the move into flight or fight and bringing on board the parasympathetic nervous system to calm back down often through self-soothe techniques," Saltz said.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-888-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.
